Is there anything in the world better than slobbering baby kisses? #5 has only recently discovered his ability to kiss us. He crows with delight and then lunges for the nearest face and doesn't stop until the object of his affection is roaring with laughter and has slobber dripping from his/her chin. Baby love is sweet but also slightly disgusting.
We live in a society which has become anti-family. There is a weird schizophrenia to American attitudes about children. While everything seems to be trending towards child-centric entertainment, and parents wrap their lives around the activities and measure their own worth by their little darling's accomplishments, the societal assumption is that the preferred family has only one or two "perfect" children.
When a family dares to buck the trends and have a third or even(horrors!) a fourth child, the general public becomes considerably less friendly towards them. The parents who were warmly greeted at restaurants and seated with the "regular people" are now seated in a quiet corner so that their progeny will not offend anyone with their noise. The door greeter at Wal-Mart who used to give a smile and a sticker now slightly frowns and then says, "Wow, you've got your hands full." (To be honest, I'm not really sure what that means...is that good or bad?)
But, you say, there seem to be so many pro-family activities out there. You're right of course, there seem to be. When it costs $45 for us to take our children to the city pool for one afternoon, or $70 to take them to the children's science museum....these things may be built for children but they are not exactly welcoming to families. The people who decide what to charge use a family of 4 as the pricing standard. We don't have a family of 4 and we like to eat, so we find other things to do.
When we were announcing our pregnancy with #5 (the one with the lovely kisses) we actually had people respond "Why?" Why were we having another baby......I guess the simplest explanation is that we love each other. The deeper one is that our children are the only thing we can have in this life and still enjoy in the next. Expensive cars and houses, flashy jewelry and club memberships can be fun and delight the ego, but when you die these things stay here. If my husband and I do our jobs and raise our little ones right, then our treasures will be with us in heaven. SO, given the choice between a sexy car, hot body, and fat bank account and my large family.....I'll take the slobbery kisses. Can someone hand me a tissue?
+JMJ+
4 comments:
I must confess to making the "hands full" comment, but I mean it in sympathy... it isn't easy bringing up even one child, let alone five. Ditto the "are they all yours?" - although this is just curiosity because a real family is unusual these days. It hadn't occurred to me that it might be seen as a negative comment. I shall watch my words in future.
;-)
I think there is a lot to be said for delivery and tone of voice. The "hands full" comment comes across more negatively to the children than it does to an adult. They wonder how my hands could be full when they are being so good. As for "are they all yours"...many big family mamas take great pride in their large broods, but when it is said in shock and disbelief it can come across as a negative.
Keep commenting nicely, after all they aren't invisible. You can make a mom's day by telling her that she's the most blessed person you've seen all day or how lovely her little angels are.
A bit off topic - but just saying hello from a priest in the UK. Keep up the good work!
fr paul harrison
My husband has realised that the only way to announce a pregnancy now is to tell people how to react.
"You WILL be happy. This is GOOD news and we are having a baby..."
My pet hate remark is "you must be a glutten for punishment."
You have a lovely blog
God bless
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