I don't know what happens if you are a subscriber and you don't get raptured. Do you get a full refund of the subscription price? You should since no one would need to get an email saying you're in Heaven, since you were one of the losers who didn't get to go. You didn't see that coming, did you? I'll bet you wish you had know. That $40 a year could have bought you some McDonald's Happy Meals, or 80 Snickers bars, or half a pair of shoes for Imelda.
I don't know what the letters say, but LarryD thinks they look like this, and I have to say he'd not half bad at rubbing salt in the wound:
"Sucks to be you!!! I've been raptured! I'm in heaven now, and let me tell you, I'm so glad to be outta there! I can't tell you what heaven's like, because technically, when I wrote this email, I was still on earth. But I'm sure it's better than metro Detroit. I mean, it has to be, right? I bet it's like Grosse Pointe without the view of Windsor.
"Anyway, a couple things for you to know. First, watch out for the anti-Christ. He's really smart and tricky, and you won't want to fall for any of his ideas, otherwise you'll be screwed. I don't know who he is, but if he wrote a book, I'm sure Oprah has endorsed it by now. So look for clues there. Second, don't let anyone implant anything electronic in you - that's the mark of the beast! Keep using your Visa bankcard instead. And lastly, can you feed my cat? And change her litter? Since I was raptured six days ago now, she's really hungry and her box probably stinks to high heaven. In fact, I can smell it!! lol
"See you soon, or seven years from now. Good luck during the tribulation!"
oh, too funny, but go read everything Larry said, he's much funnier than I am.