Fractured Smile

I got the dreaded phone call yesterday. The one you get when your child has gone away with someone else and then they call you and say "She's alright, but...."

#1 went on a youth group trip to Six Flags in Dallas. She broke her left front tooth on one of the rides. About a third of it. Gone. She saw the chunk go flying as the ride kept spinning.

She's an 11 year old girl who had a naturally perfect smile (we were so thrilled to have ONE that wouldn't require braces). She has a ready smile for everyone and has never met a stranger in her life.

That's not the girl I picked up from the parish parking lot last night. I picked up a girl who covered her mouth out of embarrassment and held her lips together when she smiled. Then when she spoke, she lisped. She never cried, although she wanted to. I kind of admire that bravado before the world.


I am just sick over this. She is crushed. We see the dentist today to see what can be done. Pray for my daughter, please.

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Could it be?

We think we may have found a house. By "We" of course I mean that I have found a house and my dear sweet husband is prepared to let me have my way. That's the way it should be. He leaves and goes to the office. I am stuck at home for most of the day. We should buy the one I like. On the other hand, he is the one who earns the paycheck and we should buy something that he can more than tolerate. Hey! Whose side are you on here?

Alright. I'll tell the truth. We found two houses. One I like and one he likes. Both the same price. Both with motivated sellers. Both with 5 bedrooms and 3 baths. One is 3350 sq. ft. and the other is 2900 sq ft. Both in nice neighborhoods. But one is ordinary and Hallmark home-y and the other is funky, and a bit eccentric. The eccentric one has a neighborhood pool and tennis court, but the house is out-dated. The Hallmark one is completely finished inside (if a bit Pollyanna-ish for my tastes).

We're buying the funky cool one. The big one. In the cool neighborhood. I hope.

I still have to convince the Computer Guy. And make an offer. And get it accepted. And get the paperwork together. And release my death-grip on that much money. And make it to closing. And get him to sign the papers with out crying. And get the flooring replaced before we move in. And pack and move seven people while my husband travels for work. And...

What? Shut up. It's in the bag.

Can you possibly want more children?

We have five. Not a lot by our grandparents standards, and nothing compared to the amazing Imelda with 11, but a huge family by modern standards. House hunting for our crew is turning out to be much more interesting than we thought it would be. There are not many choices in our price range in the size that we need.

Then there are the stunned silences. The mortgage broker, the real estate agent's secretary, the neighbors of the houses we have looked at. We tell them we are looking for 5 bedrooms or more and as many bathrooms as possible. (We all know that nature will call everyone at once.) Then the same sentiment bubbles out of them, rising to the surface before they can even stop it...."Are you done?" and my favorite "Do you want more?" All asked with a special brand of wide eyed incredulity. I'll answer it once and for all, for all of you.

Yes. Maybe not today, or in the near future, but yes. We would be happy with any new person God sends our way. We didn't plan the ones we have, and it has worked out so well, why start now?

Why? Because I can't imagine a time when I will look at my husband, this wonderful man whom I adore, and say "I don't want to have your children." I don't want to imagine a day when he tells me that he no longer wants to have babies with me. This is a marriage. We give ourselves to each other totally, holding nothing back, not even our fertility. If that means a house-full of children...well, please God may we be so lucky.

Other people can have their small families with their one perfect child. I can understand the appeal of this lifestyle. I just choose not to live it. After looking at all the houses we've seen so far, we have decided only that we don't want a designer show house with everything "just so" where a family lives a quiet and orderly life. We want a rambling sprawling place with a good sized back yard where the kids can run and play, and wrestle around on the floor without having to worry about leaving marks on the floors or walls.

This is the life for me. Loud and loving, rambunctious and wild until they collapse in a heap like a pile of worn out puppies. I don't want a perfect house. Not now. I can see the beauty of it, and it appeals to me for sure, but I don't think we could be happy there. We need quirky and odd, fun and easy. It's a wild ride, but I wouldn't want to wake up anywhere else.

CLOSE THE DOOR! YOU'RE LETTING THE FLIES IN!

Summertime in Oklahoma would be more honestly known as "Fly Season". They're everywhere. Every house looks like the set of the Amityville horror with the swarms on the windows. We killed 32 this morning. 32! and this is a regular day. We'll probably massacre 20 or more this afternoon before the Computer Guy gets home.

I hate flies. They're nasty. They eat poop and throw up on stuff, and my husband has OCD....do you have any idea what it is like to live with an OCD person during fly season? I don't believe you can even imagine it. I see-saw between being annoyed and amused like a schizophrenic who's off her meds. (Darn it...I missed a doctor's appt. this morning. I'm losing it here people.)

The kitchen door is always open. Always. I scream at people to close it. I beg. I bribe. I yell obscenities in the hopes that the shock will make them finally listen. Who keeps leaving the blasted door open?! &^%$#@*^!!!!!!

The dog. The dog has learned to open the door and let herself outside. She never listens to me any more than the children do, so she leaves it open in case she needs back inside. Air condition the outside? Yes, please! The dog!!!! I never knew she was this smart.

I've been grounding children all week for letting her outside when the garage was open and letting her run the neighborhood. They haven't. I watched her yesterday. She hears the garage door open and lets herself out just as nicely as you please. She goes on a jaunt down the street, sniffs a few behinds, and then meanders her way home again.

I don't need this. I already have 5 children conspiring against me to drive me insane, lock me in an institution and steal the house. Now I find out that the dog is in on it too.

She's always been a little odd, but what can you expect from a boxer/beagle mix that was abandoned by her mother and nursed by a cat? She's going to be off a bit mentally....don't you think? We used to think she was cute but dumb...now we know that she was just lulling us into a false sense of security so that she would be poised to take over.....

Here's a picture of Grace, our criminal mastermind:

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Home-schoolers threaten our cultural comfort

Read this. Loved it. Had to share.

You see them at the grocery, or in a discount store.

It's a big family by today’s standards - "just like stair steps," as the old folks say. Freshly scrubbed boys with neatly trimmed hair and girls with braids, in clean but unfashionable clothes follow mom through the store as she fills her no-frills shopping list.

There's no begging for gimcracks, no fretting, and no threats from mom. The older watch the younger, freeing mom to go peacefully about her task.

You are looking at some of the estimated 2 million children being home schooled in the U.S., and the number is growing. Their reputation for academic achievement has caused colleges to begin aggressively recruiting them. Savings to the taxpayers in instructional costs are conservatively estimated at $4 billion, and some place the figure as high as $9 billion. When you consider that these families pay taxes to support public schools, but demand nothing from them, it seems quite a deal for the public.

Home schooling parents are usually better educated than the norm, and are more likely to attend worship services. Their motives are many and varied. Some fear contagion from the anti-clericalism, coarse speech, suggestive behavior and hedonistic values that characterize secular schools. Others are concerned for their children’s safety. Some want their children to be challenged beyond the minimal competencies of the public schools. Concern for a theistic world view largely permeates the movement.

Indications are that home schooling is working well for the kids, and the parents are pleased with their choice, but the practice is coming under increasing suspicion, and even official attack, as in California.

Why do we hate (or at least distrust) these people so much?

Methinks American middle-class people are uncomfortable around the home schooled for the same reason the alcoholic is uneasy around the teetotaler.

Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles. Those families are willing to render unto Caesar the things that Caesar’s be, but they draw the line at their children. Those of us who have put our trust in the secular state (and effectively surrendered our children to it) recognize this act of defiance as a rejection of our values, and we reject them in return.

Just as the jealous Chaldeans schemed to bring the wrath of the king upon the Hebrew eunuchs, we are happy to sic the state’s bureaucrats on these “trouble makers.” Their implicit rejection of America’s most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. “Individualism”) spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions.

Young families must make the decision: Will junior go to day care and day school, or will mom stay home and raise him? The rationalizations begin. "A family just can't make it on one income." (Our parents did.) "It just costs so much to raise a child nowadays." (Yeah, if you buy brand-name clothing, pre-prepared food, join every club and activity, and spend half the cost of a house on the daughter’s wedding, it does.) And so, the decision is made. We give up the bulk of our waking hours with our children, as well as the formation of their minds, philosophies, and attitudes, to strangers. We compensate by getting a boat to take them to the river, a van to carry them to Little League, a 2,800-square- foot house, an ATV, a zero-turn Cub Cadet, and a fund to finance a brand-name college education. And most significantly, we claim “our right” to pursue a career for our own
"self-fulfillment."

Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity. We are tired from working extra jobs, and the looming depression threatens our 401k’s. Credit cards are nearly maxed, and it costs a $100 to fuel the Suburban. Now the kid is raising hell again, demanding the latest Play Station as his price for doing his school work … and there goes that modest young woman in the home-made dress with her four bright-eyed, well-behaved home-schooled children in tow. Wouldn’t you just love to wipe that serene look right off her smug face?

Is it any wonder we hate her so?

Sonny Scott a community columnist, lives on Sparta Road in Chickasaw County and his e-mail address is sonnyscott@yahoo. com.

Still Breathing

I am sorry that I have not posted in the last 10 days. How is that possible? Can it have been 10 days already?

We have been house hunting. We need something closer to the Computer Guy's new job. (He starts today. Good Luck, Computer Guy! I love you!) We figured out that it was going to cost us $18 a day in gasoline for him to commute. I don't know about you, but I can think of many things I'd rather buy with my $400 a month than gas for his car.

Looking at houses was fun the first 3 days. Now my brain is mush, and all the houses blend into each other. They all begin to look alike after awhile.

We are funny to listen to at night. "I liked the house with the funky staircase, but not the one with the weird laundry room." "Was that the one with the green bathroom? Or the one with the red dining room?" It was the one with the leopard wallpaper in the bathroom." "Hmmm...I guess I don't remember that one. Maybe we should go look at it again." Again? Are you kidding?

Then there's the mortgage stuff and the FICO scores. Is it possible for this to be any more of a game? What a joke. We pay cash for everything, live within our means, and budget like crazy. We live the idea that "If you can't pay cash, you can't afford it." Then we applied for a mortgage and were told, "You can get a substantially lower interest rate if you would just open a couple of charge accounts and put maybe $100 each on them and just let it sit while you pay the minimum payments for about 6 months." What? Go into debt so that I look like a better financial risk? The theory here is that the more money I owe, the better I am at handling my finances? What kind of whack-a-doo nutjob dreamed this system up?

I told them "We have saved a substantial down payment." And then I smiled because cute can help sometimes. The guy just shook his head and said "It would be better if you just had a more substantial credit history." Substantial? Like more? Yes. Owe more, and they will give you more. I think I may have stumbled through the looking glass. Has anyone else seen that white rabbit?

The short version is: We're looking for a new house. My brain hurts. Blogging may be intermittent. The End.