Monday, June 15, 2009
13 Years and 8 Babies Later
Sixteen years ago, in August, we went out on our first date. It was bad. We really didn't like each other. I thought he was a snob (a cute snob, but still a snob)because he never talked and he thought I was obnoxious because I never shut up. Chinese food and the movie "The Firm" and I firmly resolved to never go out with him again. Why waste my time with someone I couldn't stand? Then he kissed me good-night. In that moment I knew that this horrible person was my husband as I had a quick mental flash of us 60 years later with our grandchildren all around us. I stayed up crying all night to my room mate about the horror of that thought, a lifetime with a man who wouldn't speak. She told me to go out with him and be sure I hated him as much as I thought I did. I'm so glad I listened.
As much as I disliked him in the beginning, his parents disliked me just as much. I was the antithesis of their calm and quiet family, a little person full of noise and energy. I am actually the only girl my in-laws ever told him not to date. That worked out well, didn't it? We moved to Oklahoma and stayed together because by then we knew that a girl who talks and a guy who listens is actually a pretty good combination.
And so I married him thirteen years ago today on a gray day in June, thrilled that his warm smile and dry sense of humor were mine forever. We were going to wait at least four years for babies until we had finished college and begun our careers, and then have a sensible sized family. He wanted one or two children and I wanted four. #1 came within the year; eight children (2 saints and 6 in training) later, it has become obvious that neither of us can read a calendar or count.
My sweet Nanna said to marry him at 6:30 because it is the low point on the clock, the time when both hands are looking down. Marry him at the bottom, she said, and it would only go up from there. She was right, it has. It hasn't always been easy, but it has definitely been better every day.
I think back to that giddy girl who married the strong and silent type and had no idea the life they had in store. We laughed when his grandfather teased us about having half a dozen children knowing that we would never have that many. He was going to do forensics and I was going to be a political lobbyist. We were going to travel the world before settling in together to raise our children. I'm so glad that none of that happened that way. I wouldn't trade a single one of those sweet babies for a trip to Europe.
I'm pretty thrilled with the way it's all worked out. Him a quiet Computer Guy and me a homeschooling mom with a blog and an opinion. Through all the years and the excitement of being the Computer Guy's bride, the only thing I know with certainty is that my mother was right on our wedding day when she said that "Marriage is spending the rest of your life in a house that's too hot with a person who thinks it's too cold." That's exactly what it is. Me with a single sheet and him with a pile of blankets, all curled up together.
Thank you to my sweet Computer Guy for being the cool to my hotness. I wouldn't have it any other way.