"...I have sinned through my own fault...in what I have done and what I have failed to do..." -The Confiteor
I thought eating differently was all about my physical health. Who knew I could be so wrong? It has made me aware of my shortcomings as a mother and as a person. It has shown me how I suffer from the sin of sloth.
I thought I was fat because of gluttony, because I ate too much. I need to lose weight because I am lazy. It seems funny for someone as busy as I am to discover my own laziness. I would have thought I wouldn't have had time to be lazy. Sin has a way of sneaking up and surprising us.
I used to plan. I would make detailed menus of well balanced meals for my family. There were varieties of vegetables and lean, well-seasoned meats. Recipes were rotated and experimented with, calories were planned, nutritional values considered. I got tired of the fight. My children argued and whined about trying new things. They refused vegetables. My husband balked at the idea of going without his meat and potato favorites in favor of something new and untried. I couldn't fight them all forever, so I quit trying.
Chicken strips from the grocery store and burgers from the local burger joint were quick easy and never disputed. There was no mess from cooking to clean up, just wrappers to ball up and toss into the trash. The path of least resistance made my life easier.
Easier isn't better and it's making me sick. If we were to look, it's probably making my family sick as well. Their health and well being is my job and I have quit in the face of opposition. I have let ease and my own inertia beat down my instincts.
I willingly have ignored it all until God set my esophagus on fire and reminded me that failing to do the right thing can be just as harmful as doing the wrong one. I have sinned against God and my family by not caring for this incredible gift to the best of my ability. Sometimes it takes a lightning bolt to wake us up to the truth of our situation. For me, that lightning struck in my chest. Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to do about it.