A Facebook acquaintance of mine posted the other day that she and her husband "have decided to start trying to have a baby. Cross your fingers for us!" Ick.
I don't understand this new trend in announcing the intention to begin trying to conceive. It's the same thing as saying "my husband and I are going to be having a lot of sex in the near future." What am I supposed to say to that? I hope it's good for you? It just all seems too private, too personal to be telling anyone, and unbelievably too private for the strangers on Facebook.
I suppose it is all a symptom of the contracepting culture in which we live. "Being responsible" and taking the Pill is the sign of mature femininity, so going off of the Pill and having "unprotected" sex has become the ultimate symbol of a committed relationship. What a wedding used to be, the "trying to conceive" announcement has become. In a wedding, a woman dedicates her life to her husband. With this announcement, she finally offers him her uterus.
Is this some new sort of etiquette which Emily Post needs to address? A new line of Hallmark cards for the socially adept to send? How would they even word that? If we should offer our congratulations to the couple who decides to conceive, should we send a note of condolence to the couple who just "isn't ready yet"? This is yet another symptom of our reality show, me-centered culture. Nothing is private any more, not even the love of a husband and a wife.
There are things I just don't want to know about people. I don't want to know your sex schedule, I don't want that mental image of you. Call me when the test is positive and I will rejoice with you. Tell me when it's not and I'll pray with you, but don't tell me during the middle of it. There really are some things I don't need to know about you, and what you're doing in the bedroom is one of them.
17 comments:
Meh. Still not as bad as the neighbor who announced that her husband had a vasectomy in their Christmas letter. :eyeroll:
THAT is a mental image I want while looking at their posed Christmas photo.
Yes, I'm always surprised at how freely people share that their husband is "fixed" - I guess a lot of the times they're trying to give me a hint! Even in my Catholic Church, I know a number of the husbands are sterile - not because I asked, but because someone has told me!
Are people aloud to state this if you don't know what they look like? :-)
Thank you! I've always found this a little uncomfortable. What kind of response are they looking for?
Amen to that. That topic is among many that DO NOT need to be blasted all over facebook. Isn't it too bad that we feel that Emily Post needs to address it? It *should* be common sense.
I Agree some things we just don't want to know!
I wholeheartedly agree. Besides it not being any of my business, I kinda feel like they're "jinxing" things by even throwing it out there.
I agree with you, and there definitely is a whole new mindset out there.
Amen! Definitely more information than I ever want to know!
Ha, ha, ha, LOVE your blog today. Reminds me of when my husband and I returned to work after our honeymoon (we both worked for same utility company) and a month later announced our first pregnancy. My boss, an Indian, was shocked saying, 'oh, I did not realize you decided to have children'. My quick whit came back with 'We are Catholic, the decision to marry is the same as the decision to have children'. -Loretta
I got the vasectomy Christmas letter once too--in fact a whole paragraph on how there were complications!! Yikes!! Way, way TMI.
It's amazing, isn't it, this society we live in? If everyone would just read our blogs and follow the wise advice therein, they'd be so much better off, don't you think?!
I might have my facts incorrect, but I thought you posted something, a few (maybe 4-6) months before telling us that you were expecting, that you were "in the mood for another child." Is that different than saying you're trying? I guess so, but in my memory of that post, that image popped into my head as well.
To me, the "we're trying" message should definitely not be posted on Facebook, but telling a couple of close friends that you are trying is okay and I would simply offer prayers for conception. Those who had been on the pill for some time often struggle mightily to get pregnant and prayers are definitely helpful in that situation.
This is just another example of why I love this blog. You manage to say all the things I am thinking, but don't have the tack to politely articulate. :)
I can see it now - Hallmark's New Baby-making Announcement line of cards.
"If we don't pick up the phone,
Or, at the door, you're left waitin';
Don't assume we're not home -
We're inside copulatin'!"
-OR-
"During this special time,
I just wanted to let you,
my old college buddies, know that
I cannot go golfing with you
this week because my wife and I
are trying to make a baby."
Kinda makes their slogan "When you care enough to send your very best" a bit inappropriate.
I'm afraid to ask what that division of Hallmark would be called.
... and of course the flip side is when you tell people you are pregnant and they ask "were you trying?" Amazing. Doesn't polite company realize they are asking the same question as "have you been having [unprotected] sex?". I always wanted to deflect their question and ask about their sex life, but usually just mumbled something polite and moved on to the next conversation topic instead.
(BTW - my husband was never so shy - he would always answer 's**t, yeah, every chance I get!)
~Shirley
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