Thursday, July 22, 2010

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

My Dear Internets,
It is with great glee this morning that I must report to you of the demise of "the other woman", my husband's mistress.  At 10:00 last night, she passed from this world exactly as she had lived in it, cradled in my husband's hand.  He used his considerable skills to restore her to life, but was helpless to do anything but watch her shining face fade forever.  This afternoon, he will take her dead shell somewhere I do not know, and see that she is disposed of properly, to return to my home no more.

O happy day!

I do not delude myself.  My rival for his affections will be replaced before the day is out by a younger, sexier, more alluring model, but she will be new and awkward.  Fear not for me, I am poised and ready for the battle.  I have tricks which she can not hope to match.  

But for now? This moment?  For this moment, he is mine and always will be.  When the time for mistresses has passed away, he will find me still here, the wife of his youth.  How I long for that day to come.


****Updated to add:  The Computer Guy laughed this morning and told me that his mistress will not be replaced by a new model, but by her predecessor.  "It won't be a cute young thing, but the MILF model."  Hahahahhaha  Is it any wonder that I adore him?

11 comments:

Maurisa said...

He he he :D

Colleen said...

That MILF's got nothing on you :)

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

HA HA HA! Now this is funny!!

Nod said...

That MILF comment almost made me spit out my drink. ROTFL!

I always wondered whether the Computer Guy read your blog. I always got the impression he didn't.

aka the Mom said...

Nod,
He reads it every day, but has only commented once in three years. He's a man of few words, but when he does speak it's usually funny and worth waiting to hear.

Maggie said...

Ha ha!! I understand completely. :)

Joe (Defend Us In Battle) said...

My wife reads it... I prefer not to know what she thinks.

She did tell me she skips over certain posts, especially ones with videos or lots of links to other blogs... sorry Larry.

Coffee Catholic said...

I am on Facebook :-) Search out:

Michelle Therese

Packrat said...

ROLF

Don't get too comfortable with your reinstatement as the main woman. The lure of the new is more than a mere man can resist. ;) (I'm also married to a computer guy.)

Packrat said...

Oops: ROFL

Ann - Building a Nest said...

I loved this post! I was laughing the whole time!