After my last post, I got lots of people saying "Pull him out now!" While there's a part of my which delights in that idea, a larger part is not ready. Let me explain why.
He hops out of my car every morning ready and eager for school. When he was learning at home, it was always a battle to get him to the table and an even bigger one to keep him there. He's excited about learning again. That's invaluable to me.
His teacher teaches in a manner which is as close to homeschooling in an institutional setting as it is possible to get. His teacher's daughter homeschools and she says she has gotten many ideas from her. Ideas such as planning the entire year around the Magic Tree House books. Not only is this a great idea which I love, but I'm stealing it for my own future third grade lesson plans.
The special ed teacher wants to help him and has a plan. She has compiled a list of things to do and try, if only she had an IEP so that she could. She ran into me in the hall last week and teared up in her frustration of being kept from helping him. She wants to help him and has a clue about how to get there. I have nothing. I can pull him out of school and let him read all day, but he wouldn't learn math. I don't know how to teach it to him and I can't afford the tutors who might be able to do so. Math is non-negotiable. He has to learn it.
It is not the teachers with whom I have an issue. It never has been. It is the traditional educational system which I despise. It is the bureaucracy which keeps children locked into routines which can not help them until the adults in charge get to them. It is the stupidity of a system which won't let teachers even talk to students without the approval of their higher ups even if the children need their help. It is the valuing of rules and the status quo over the individual child. It is making those rules and guidelines more important than my son.
This, together with the negative social aspects, makes me want to keep him home, but home to what? This is the question all home-educators must answer for themselves. Are we keeping them home because it is in their best interest or because we're afraid of the schools? For me and with this child, it would only be out of fear. There is still hope for him within those walls and that is why he is still there.
13 comments:
You're such a good mom, and I think in time this will all work itself out.
Hang in there, Mom, and keep showing up and nagging the "system". You know you are the only one that will keep him from falling through the cracks.
Home or public math comes slowly to some kids who read early. Some things you can try are books about Math. Grolier has a series in many libraries and I love Sir Cumferance and the Knights of the Round Table and the whole where Prince Radius and Lady Di of Ameter solve all kinds of math problems.
Books on learning chess have helped lots of our friends also- triggers the math area of the brain through reading.
You are so strong! I commend you for thinking about all the options with a prayerful and discerning heart. #3 will be will thank you some day for being such a wonderful mom who loves him and cares about him!
I will pray that the IEP gets pushed through soon!
Hang in there! You are doing a great job and are being so patient. I applaud you for seeking what you feel is best for your son.
You know what? This is the whole problem with the federal govt meddling in education. The federal govt adds nothing good to our schools--just bureaucracy and a drain on our tax dollars. Everything should be local, local, local, with the teachers and parents working together to do their best jobs for the children.
And it absolutely sounds like you're doing just the right thing for your dear #3. Blessings to you all!
Okay, I'll go with you on this. If #3 loves going to school and his teacher cares, those are miracles in themselves. For some silly reason, this post made me cry. Hugs for you.
I say hang in there if he's happy and learning and advocate for all you're worth! Great job!
For what it's worth, some of us do know and understand the struggle. Some of us *do* understand why you've chosen to send #3 to public school. Some of us *do* admire your courage and the strength it takes to take him to school everyday and trust the teacher to do her job, even if the system isn't doing theirs. ;-)
Hang in there. God Bless you and him.
I love how your mind and heart work, mama!
He's leading you.
Fear. Yup, that's it.
Wish I could go back.
Keep listening...
Bless you Mom,
♥
I also have a son in third grade. He is in a small private classical school. All in all we have been pleased with the teachers there, but this year he has a teacher who is prickly and difficult to get along with. Within the first two weeks of school there were three instances in which we felt that she treated our son unjustly.
After some prayer and discussion, my husband and I decided not to blaze in there to meet with the teacher and the administration and protest the way she is handling the class and our son in particular. Our rationale is that he is old enough to start learning that sometimes in life you have to deal with difficult people, and even if things are unfair he still needs to respect her as an authority figure. A few weeks later, her behavior hasn't changed, but our son's attitude about the situation has. He has taken the situation on as a challenge and feels proud of the fact that he is managing without our interference.
Our response to this situation was based in large part on my husband's experience as a professor at a large university. He routinely has 19, 20, and 21 year old students who still have their mothers fighting their battles for them when it comes to school. Many of these students have parents who have plowed aside all challenges and obstructions in their children's lives and these juniors and seniors in college have never run up against failure or the answer "no". We are bound and determined that our kids are not going to be that way, as much as my "momma bear" is tempted to solve things for them when I think they've been treated unfairly.
I realize that this is not the same as your situation and I know you have concerns about #3 falling further behind academically before he gets assistance (a legitimate concern). But on the other hand, I would urge you to handle the situation in a way that doesn't model for him an attitude of distain or disrespect for the school administration. One of the most important lessons for children to learn is to live under authority -- not just their parents, but other legitimate authorities, such as priests, the Church, their teachers, school administrators, etc. They pay very close attention to our attitudes as parents when it comes to this kind of thing.
I love the way you are not rigid and are truly sensing what works for your precious little one. Wow, what a Mom you are! So in tune with what works for him! Love it!
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