We've received a few early Christmas gifts at our house, and with every box we open I begin to have serious doubts about the people we love. What are they giving us? What messages of love are they trying to send? Well...hold onto your hats, because at The Mom's house we've gotten:
1. laser hair removal - "I love you enough to want to set parts of you on fire."
2. 6 lbs of bacon - "What better way to celebrate the birth of a Jewish boy than with pork?"
3. lye soap - "That perfumey stuff just ain't cutting the funk."
4. a key on a bottle opener key chain - just a random key we're not sure what it unlocks - "I didn't know what to get you, so here's a key from my junk drawer. I thought you might get thirsty trying to figure out what it goes to, so here's a bottle opener to go with it."
5. 2 boxes of ammunition - "Merry Christmas. Now go kill something."
6. a pair of men's dress socks - no clue here ....... LarryD?
7. one dessert plate - just the one - "I thought it was cute and couldn't afford the whole set. If the rest of you want pie you'll have to share."
8. a gift card to the thrift store - Really? do I dress that badly? - "Yes, you do." - Well, I appreciate your honesty.
9. a bedazzled eyelash curler and tweezer set - "Maybe if your personal grooming stuff was pretty...you'd actually use it..."
10. a flower made out of leather - there's no explanation for this one - it's a flower....made out of leather...can we move on?
We love our friends and family because they're ours and also because they amuse us so much. Who else do you know that gets this kind of loot the week before Christmas? I'm kind of hoping it's a lead up to the awesomeness that awaits us on Christmas morning.....
11 comments:
I...am SNORTING with laughter....oh, this hurts, make it stop....I think I just peed.....ow, pulled a stomach muscle.....
It was either the socks or the Proactiv.
Ooo weee I want laser hair removal! hahahaha
I love this post. What interesting gifts!
Oh My Goodness! That is quite a list! :)
Mary - It SEEMS like a good idea, but it hurts like a son of a.....I know because when the first zap hit me I said "Son of a ..." and I don't really use that kind of language
in front of other people.
Wow, that's quite a haul of LOVE! I often have to laugh out loud at "my random world" but this takes the cake!
My goodness...I mean, just ONE of those gifts would render one speechless, but ...
And I thought my husband"s idea of a good gift was odd.
When this kind of scenario happens it helps to imagine oneself as a character in an Anne Tyler novel.
Hysterical.
But c'mon, the bacon is good regardless, right? I never thought of it as a Christmas present, but Mmmm, bacon.
It proves that God loves us best, because we can eat bacon, right? I mean, right?
Even so, Mmmmm, bacon...
You made me rethink my gift for my mom. A dog leash. (No, it wasn't for her to use on my dad!) Took it back and got a wine opener gift set. Hope she'll like that better!!!
Sharon
Well, LOL.
Seriously, if the dessert plate is pretty, get a little stand and display it. As for the gift card to the thrift store - wow, I would be thrilled. My friends and I do the thrift store "loop" every Thursday. Headed that way shortly. Thrift store finds? Christmas vest (brand new) - $1.99. Over the years, I have doubled the place settings of my china - $.25 to a $1.00 a piece. Spring form pan - 50 cents. Cookbooks for $1.00. Just a few great things that I've picked up recently.
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