This past weekend, we broke away from our usual routine and attended the vigil Mass on Saturday night instead of our usual Mass at 8:00 Sunday morning. My family does not generally embrace change well. I tease them that the family motto is "Commutationum timemus" or "We fear change."
Our lives are so fast paced. We live by a tight schedule and try to fit everyone and everything in. Imagine my delight on Sunday morning wen we woke up and there was nothing to do but simply be. The Computer Guy and I curled up under the covers until the insistent cries of the baby finally forced us to get up.
We wandered down the stairs as the children watched a movie (The Princess and The Frog) in the living room. #2 came in to find me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and asked me what beignets were and could we have them for breakfast. I started to tell him they were too much trouble, but then remembered that we had absolutely nowhere to go and nothing planned for the entire day. Beignets? Sure, why not.
My son and I found a recipe (thank you, Paula Deen) and mixed up a batch. He went back to the living room and my husband and I went on a leisurely walk to get coffee. By the time we returned, the dough had risen and needed to be cut. I let the 10 year old do it. He was thrilled.
The recipe said "makes 3 dozen." It lied. I don't know an exact number, but it made enough square doughnuts fill 5 plates. We ate until we were done and then sent the children out with plates of extras for all of our neighbors.
The whole day was just an unplanned meandering of time. We laughed, smiled and talked without a clock telling us when to do it. God knew what he was doing when He commanded us to rest one day a week in honor of Him. We need to stop and look around as the world goes flying past. We need to catch our breath and remember who we've got with us and why we like them so much. We need a day to just be.
Next week? My children have decided that baking for the neighbors is fun, so we're going to do it again. I'm not sure what we'll make, but I'm sure it will come to them. I just need to remember that it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be fun. And if we decide that we'd rather go fishing in the creek instead? Well, that's the kind of change of plans that a day of rest is for.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Can I Get a Few Things Off My Chest?
There are a few things which have been bugging me lately. I have a friend I usually grouse about these things with, but she's moving this week, so we haven't gotten to talk. Then I thought to myself, "Self, you should tell the Internets. They will understand."
Here's what's bugging me/My opportunities for sainthood
1. I hate the voice recognition thing when I call the electric department. I used to think that "Press 1 for..." was annoying. Then they introduced the whole "Say 1 for..." and I longed to be able to simply press a number.
It doesn't matter where I hide in my house. I've even tried hiding in my husband's closet with the door closed. The children always come and find me. They shriek "I've found her! She's hiding in the garage under the car!" and the stupid thing says "Return to Main Menu" and I have to start all over again. The three year old can get it to switch to Spanish with a high pitched shriek and the 1 year old's cry must sound as if I'm done because it will invariably reply "Thank you for calling. Good bye."
2. Those little dots I get when I type in my password. Can secrecy be an option? I get that if I were online at McDonald's while the children were in the playplace ( I would never do this. I watch my children play for hours and never get bored by the "Watch me slide again, Mommy!" ) then I would want my password to be concealed.
But at home? I want to know what I'm typing because sometimes I think I may have messed it up. But then I'm not really sure I've messed it up, so I delete it anyway. I have to. I only get so many tries with some websites before they lock me out for 24 hours. If I had that kind of time I'd go do stuff in person. I'm in a hurry, that's why I'm doing stuff online in the first place.
Can the computer people not give me and option? "Click here for password protection." That's all I'm saying.
3. The Computer Guy and I went to look at cars this weekend. Big giant church bus vans. The sales man was great. He seemed to get exactly what we wanted. (He was new. I'm sure that they'll beat the helpfulness out of him at some point.) We explained to him that our car is paid off and seats everyone, but our boys are growing and something bigger is in our near future. We also told him that we can hold out for a good deal but will buy now if the price is right. He showed us everything they have in behemoth transportation.
He was great. The manager who was supposed to tell us the price was not. He refused to give us a price on two of the three vans because "You aren't ready to buy today." Really? We brought our checkbook and the title for our trade in. Then on the third van he told us a price which was way high. I smiled sweetly and said "The place in Dallas has the same model with fewer miles for $6000 less than you are asking." He replied "I hope you enjoy the drive to Dallas."
I thought the economy was tanking. It's not. It's so good that they won't even sell you a car when you show up ready to talk numbers. I guess people don't talk numbers anymore, they talk "What kind of payment can you afford?" Maybe that's why the economy is tanking.
Just a thought.
4. Waiting is killing me. We're moving in the Spring. (Did you know?) I'm ready to just go. Let's rip the band aid off and stop prolonging the agony. I'm not a patient person. Can we just go already?
5. The 3 year old is the size of a kindergartner and still not potty trained. He adamantly refuses to even sit near the potty, forget about on it. My Achilles heel of mothering is potty training. I'm not good at it. Eventually they just get tired of listening to me and give in. I hear about people who can teach their kids in a day or a weekend. It takes me months of begging, pleading, bribing and yelling to get there. Is there someone I can hire for this? Do you have their number?
That's what's bugging me. Anything you need to share with the class?
Here's what's bugging me/My opportunities for sainthood
1. I hate the voice recognition thing when I call the electric department. I used to think that "Press 1 for..." was annoying. Then they introduced the whole "Say 1 for..." and I longed to be able to simply press a number.
It doesn't matter where I hide in my house. I've even tried hiding in my husband's closet with the door closed. The children always come and find me. They shriek "I've found her! She's hiding in the garage under the car!" and the stupid thing says "Return to Main Menu" and I have to start all over again. The three year old can get it to switch to Spanish with a high pitched shriek and the 1 year old's cry must sound as if I'm done because it will invariably reply "Thank you for calling. Good bye."
2. Those little dots I get when I type in my password. Can secrecy be an option? I get that if I were online at McDonald's while the children were in the playplace ( I would never do this. I watch my children play for hours and never get bored by the "Watch me slide again, Mommy!" ) then I would want my password to be concealed.
But at home? I want to know what I'm typing because sometimes I think I may have messed it up. But then I'm not really sure I've messed it up, so I delete it anyway. I have to. I only get so many tries with some websites before they lock me out for 24 hours. If I had that kind of time I'd go do stuff in person. I'm in a hurry, that's why I'm doing stuff online in the first place.
Can the computer people not give me and option? "Click here for password protection." That's all I'm saying.
3. The Computer Guy and I went to look at cars this weekend. Big giant church bus vans. The sales man was great. He seemed to get exactly what we wanted. (He was new. I'm sure that they'll beat the helpfulness out of him at some point.) We explained to him that our car is paid off and seats everyone, but our boys are growing and something bigger is in our near future. We also told him that we can hold out for a good deal but will buy now if the price is right. He showed us everything they have in behemoth transportation.
He was great. The manager who was supposed to tell us the price was not. He refused to give us a price on two of the three vans because "You aren't ready to buy today." Really? We brought our checkbook and the title for our trade in. Then on the third van he told us a price which was way high. I smiled sweetly and said "The place in Dallas has the same model with fewer miles for $6000 less than you are asking." He replied "I hope you enjoy the drive to Dallas."
I thought the economy was tanking. It's not. It's so good that they won't even sell you a car when you show up ready to talk numbers. I guess people don't talk numbers anymore, they talk "What kind of payment can you afford?" Maybe that's why the economy is tanking.
Just a thought.
4. Waiting is killing me. We're moving in the Spring. (Did you know?) I'm ready to just go. Let's rip the band aid off and stop prolonging the agony. I'm not a patient person. Can we just go already?
5. The 3 year old is the size of a kindergartner and still not potty trained. He adamantly refuses to even sit near the potty, forget about on it. My Achilles heel of mothering is potty training. I'm not good at it. Eventually they just get tired of listening to me and give in. I hear about people who can teach their kids in a day or a weekend. It takes me months of begging, pleading, bribing and yelling to get there. Is there someone I can hire for this? Do you have their number?
That's what's bugging me. Anything you need to share with the class?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Force Is With Him
I spoke this afternoon with my sweet boy's teacher. "He is easily the best liked boy in the 3rd grade," she told me. She explained that he didn't seem to have any of the social prejudices of his classmates. He didn't notice race, sex or social status when picking friends, he just likes everyone, so they like him in return.
"I've never had a student who was so good at getting the whole class together to play at recess. He leaves no one out and assigns them each a part. He even found a part for Clint."
Clint is a boy in his class who was born with several congenital deformities. He is 8 years old and the height of my 3 year old, and his right hand has only 3 fingers. He was shunned by his classmates for all of 2nd grade, and this year decided not to even try. He simply sat down on the sidewalk during recess and waited for it to be over.
#3 was having none of that. He walked over to his classmate and asked him why he didn't want to play. "There is nothing for me to do," Clint told him with a shrug.
"Are you kidding?" my son asked. "We're playing Star Wars and you'd be an awesome Yoda. He's short and has three fingers, too!" A slow smile spread over Clint's face, and then my son and his Jedi Master ran off to defend the Universe.
"I've never had a student who was so good at getting the whole class together to play at recess. He leaves no one out and assigns them each a part. He even found a part for Clint."
Clint is a boy in his class who was born with several congenital deformities. He is 8 years old and the height of my 3 year old, and his right hand has only 3 fingers. He was shunned by his classmates for all of 2nd grade, and this year decided not to even try. He simply sat down on the sidewalk during recess and waited for it to be over.
#3 was having none of that. He walked over to his classmate and asked him why he didn't want to play. "There is nothing for me to do," Clint told him with a shrug.
"Are you kidding?" my son asked. "We're playing Star Wars and you'd be an awesome Yoda. He's short and has three fingers, too!" A slow smile spread over Clint's face, and then my son and his Jedi Master ran off to defend the Universe.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Giving Philly the Finger
Last week, the City of Philadelphia announced its intention to begin taxing bloggers $300. Instead of curbing their spending habits and cutting back as regular folks have to do, they find one of the few freedoms left to us as Americans, freedom of speech and expression, declare it a small business and assess a tax. It doesn't matter if the bloggers have ever made a profit or not.
Shame on you, Philadelphia City Council! Blogging is the last bastion of sanity of the stay at home mom, the bored office guy, the computer nerd and the unemployed. You have raised taxes to the point that entertainment is an unattainable luxury. Your confiscatory tax policies are driving jobs out of your town and taking all the money with them. Instead of correcting your errors, you are trying to take the only thing your citizens have left. You can pass the laws, but they will not silence an unhappy populace. You can have their keyboards, but you have to go and get them!
Philadelphia, I'm giving you the finger! Shame on you all!
What? What kind of finger did you think I meant?
Shame on you, Philadelphia City Council! Blogging is the last bastion of sanity of the stay at home mom, the bored office guy, the computer nerd and the unemployed. You have raised taxes to the point that entertainment is an unattainable luxury. Your confiscatory tax policies are driving jobs out of your town and taking all the money with them. Instead of correcting your errors, you are trying to take the only thing your citizens have left. You can pass the laws, but they will not silence an unhappy populace. You can have their keyboards, but you have to go and get them!
Philadelphia, I'm giving you the finger! Shame on you all!
What? What kind of finger did you think I meant?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
But They're Not Brothers
Two days of school down for our #3. Two days of learning school etiquette and social niceties. I love listening to his descriptions of the boys in his class.
Thursday: "I played with C.J. and another boy at recess today. They both have really brown skin, but they're not brothers."
Friday: "I played with Nash and Logan today. They have my color skin and hair, but they're not brothers either. Nobody in my class is brothers with anybody else in my class. We're all just friends. Don't you think it's weird that there are no brothers at all in the third grade?"
What a strange world he has entered, from one where all of his friends come with large families and playmates for his own siblings to a place where there are no siblings only friends. He likes it. It's just that he reminds me of an explorer in a strange and exotic land.
Thursday: "I played with C.J. and another boy at recess today. They both have really brown skin, but they're not brothers."
Friday: "I played with Nash and Logan today. They have my color skin and hair, but they're not brothers either. Nobody in my class is brothers with anybody else in my class. We're all just friends. Don't you think it's weird that there are no brothers at all in the third grade?"
What a strange world he has entered, from one where all of his friends come with large families and playmates for his own siblings to a place where there are no siblings only friends. He likes it. It's just that he reminds me of an explorer in a strange and exotic land.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I Know It's Difficult .... I live It Myself
From a talk with #1. With her permission. Because teenagers need to know that they're not alone. Another bonus of NFP...it makes it easier to promote chastity and abstinence to your children.
I noticed the other day that you were listening with rapt attention to the girls at the pool as they talked about boys. I saw you scoot a little closer when they spoke of their boyfriends and kissing. You didn't say a word. You didn't have to. I saw your eyes.
I know that they are fascinating, that the things they are discussing are completely foreign to you, and yet you want so badly to know more. They were talking about dating as if it were the most normal thing in the world for them. It was like a foreign language to someone whose friends aren't allowed boyfriends or dating. Those sweet homeschooled girls you hang out with get mushy over the idea of holding hands with a boy but never have. These girls have gone much further than that and they are younger than you. I know that your innocence makes you feel like a baby in these conversations. I know it because I was that girl once.
I have seen the way you look at the boy who lives across the creek. I think you have good taste. He's a good guy. I know that those experienced younger girls tease you about him and ask if you've kissed him. I know that even though you believe in courting instead of dating, there's a part of you that really wants to know what it is to kiss a boy. I can see in your face the longing to know what they know, and you're beginning to wonder for the first time if your father and I aren't setting an impossibly high standard for you.
I get that married people telling a teenager to be chaste is a little like a skinny girl telling you that those size 2 jeans could be yours if only you gave up sugar and carbs as she munches on a chunk of cheesecake. It's easy for us to say because we don't have to live what we are asking of you. I know it sounds that way, my dear, but you are wrong. We do have to live that way. We know exactly how much we are asking of you because we have to live it ourselves.
We have discussed birth control and all of the reasons it is wrong. You can look around our house and see that we don't contracept. Six babies in 14 years makes that pretty apparent. Have you ever thought about what happens when it may not be a good time for babies? Like right now. It's August right now, and we're moving in May, exactly 9 months from now. While your dad and I are always thrilled with new people, this would be spectacularly bad timing. We would of course love anyone God sent to us, but this is less than ideal timing. So what do we do?
You and I are kind of in the same boat, sister. It is not a good time for either of us to be having a baby. What does this have to do with kissing? Kissing has a purpose. It is the beginning of the path that starts the fire that ends 9 months later in the delivery room. Your dad and I know this, so we don't even go on that path. We have learned that once it's started, you can't ever quite put that fire out. When you and your siblings go to bed, we sit up and talk, watch TV, futz about on the computer, or watch movies. We have to practice the same self-control we expect from you. Only, my cute boy doesn't live on the other side of the neighborhood creek, he sleeps next to me in the same bed, and lives in the same house. (And I'm not talking about the peck I give him to say good-bye or hello. There's kissing and kissing, but you knew that.)
Self-control and self-denial are hard to learn and even more difficult to practice. Your dad and I are still working at it. When you get to the place in your life that babies would be a blessing and not a burden, you will be so glad to be able to discover all of these things in a context of joy without tinges of guilt or fear. It is not always easy to live correctly in a world that doesn't. Prayer, determination and someone to talk to can help you do it (or not do it ....) Just know that if you need to talk, I am here, and I do know how hard it is, because right now, I'm living it, too.
I get that married people telling a teenager to be chaste is a little like a skinny girl telling you that those size 2 jeans could be yours if only you gave up sugar and carbs as she munches on a chunk of cheesecake. It's easy for us to say because we don't have to live what we are asking of you. I know it sounds that way, my dear, but you are wrong. We do have to live that way. We know exactly how much we are asking of you because we have to live it ourselves.
We have discussed birth control and all of the reasons it is wrong. You can look around our house and see that we don't contracept. Six babies in 14 years makes that pretty apparent. Have you ever thought about what happens when it may not be a good time for babies? Like right now. It's August right now, and we're moving in May, exactly 9 months from now. While your dad and I are always thrilled with new people, this would be spectacularly bad timing. We would of course love anyone God sent to us, but this is less than ideal timing. So what do we do?
You and I are kind of in the same boat, sister. It is not a good time for either of us to be having a baby. What does this have to do with kissing? Kissing has a purpose. It is the beginning of the path that starts the fire that ends 9 months later in the delivery room. Your dad and I know this, so we don't even go on that path. We have learned that once it's started, you can't ever quite put that fire out. When you and your siblings go to bed, we sit up and talk, watch TV, futz about on the computer, or watch movies. We have to practice the same self-control we expect from you. Only, my cute boy doesn't live on the other side of the neighborhood creek, he sleeps next to me in the same bed, and lives in the same house. (And I'm not talking about the peck I give him to say good-bye or hello. There's kissing and kissing, but you knew that.)
Self-control and self-denial are hard to learn and even more difficult to practice. Your dad and I are still working at it. When you get to the place in your life that babies would be a blessing and not a burden, you will be so glad to be able to discover all of these things in a context of joy without tinges of guilt or fear. It is not always easy to live correctly in a world that doesn't. Prayer, determination and someone to talk to can help you do it (or not do it ....) Just know that if you need to talk, I am here, and I do know how hard it is, because right now, I'm living it, too.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
And He's Off......
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Death Sucks
Written by my brilliant he-needs-his-own-blog brother. Until he gets his own place, I'm happy to have him here.
Death sucks. There, I said it. I’ll say it again gladly: death sucks.
This morning, I found out that some friends of mine lost one of their twins in the womb. And while there is hope in Christ and comfort through Him, it does not remove this inevitable fact: death sucks.
Several years ago, my wife and I lost our first baby shortly after finding out that he was on the way. I never saw him, never held him. He never had a name. I’m not even sure that he was a “he”. Death sucks.
I wish there was a silver lining to this post, but if the Psalmists can have down days, I think it is okay to just be sad sometimes. Of course, the Psalmists always ended their lamentations with expressions of hope or trust in God. God will make it right. God will heal. God will restore. God will comfort. I will wait on Him.
It’s been several years since I lost my child, and the pain does not ever seem to go away entirely. And I will never forget that child. But as the years have gone by, God has comforted me. And I pray He will do the same for you.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.(2Co 1:3-4)
A baby died. It’s not alright. It’s not okay. This is not the way it was meant to be. Death was not part of God’s original design for Creation. We sinned, and death became a present reality. And it sucks. And God is good. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Homeschooling with Dad -- The Train Museum
The Computer Guy and I recently took the three youngest children to the Oklahoma City Train Museum. We tried to bring the older children too, but I don't have the kind of money it would have taken to bribe them into being pleasant while climbing through old train cars on in extreme summer heat. #5 is three and loves trains more than anything. It was more my husband's outing with the children. I just came along for the ride.
The Computer Guy, #4, and #5
Oh, there was one other person at the train museum. The Computer Guy brought her along. Have I mentioned that I hate her? I have? Good.
The Computer Guy, #4, and #5
He taught them useful things like "This is the brake. It makes the train stop."
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| and all about that little doo-hicky thing that connects the wheels. (See how well I listen?) |
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| He put pennies on the tracks which the trains ran over and flattened. |
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| I said stupid things like "Hey. There's a wagon." and then took a picture of it with the color setting all wrong. |
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| Oh, and I carried the baby around in his sling. |
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| Then the baby got hot and I said it was time to go. |
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| Which made everybody happy. |
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| At last I could help. Bribery with a giant lemonade. |
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| and there was peace in the car. |
Oh, there was one other person at the train museum. The Computer Guy brought her along. Have I mentioned that I hate her? I have? Good.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Prayer Buddy Revealed
Here we are, the Feast of the Assumption and the end of the summer prayer buddy season. When I got the name, I was intrigued. Here was a blogger I had never read. I love finding new blogs! When I began to read through her story, I was ecstatic!!!!
My prayer buddy was an IF girl who was building her family through adoption. The paperwork is done, the studies are complete, and now they are just prayerfully waiting for a match or two or three. My own grandmother was an IF girl who adopted her babies, and so it was like getting a window into the emotions, thoughts, and prayers she must have experienced so many years ago.
Every morning, I have gotten up and offered my day for her children and that they may find their way home to her soon. On, Sundays, I offered up Mass for her. She has been in my thoughts and prayers through out the whole summer. Some How, Some Way, Some Day, thank you for all that you have taught me about trust, patience and hope, and about my own family. Summer may be over, but I'm still praying for you and your family.
P.S. There's a little something in the mail for you. I hope you like it.
My prayer buddy was an IF girl who was building her family through adoption. The paperwork is done, the studies are complete, and now they are just prayerfully waiting for a match or two or three. My own grandmother was an IF girl who adopted her babies, and so it was like getting a window into the emotions, thoughts, and prayers she must have experienced so many years ago.
Every morning, I have gotten up and offered my day for her children and that they may find their way home to her soon. On, Sundays, I offered up Mass for her. She has been in my thoughts and prayers through out the whole summer. Some How, Some Way, Some Day, thank you for all that you have taught me about trust, patience and hope, and about my own family. Summer may be over, but I'm still praying for you and your family.
P.S. There's a little something in the mail for you. I hope you like it.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Eating Out On $40
There seemed to be some interest in how we can possibly eat out as a family for $40 every 2 weeks. I assume that the question was aimed at sit-down-and-eat waiter and menu restaurants, and not fast food. Although, fast food is a treat for us and not a regular thing. Our eating out budget can go to either 1 nice meal or 2-3 fast food meals, sometimes 4 if I can catch a deal. I'll start with fast food, because it's the easiest, although both ways require the same principle of being aware of good deals and planning ahead. Spontaneity will kill your budget.
Fast Food on the Cheap
Taco Bell 16 crispy tacos @ $.89ea + tax = $15.50
Carl's Jr Friday night is $.85 star burger night 8 burgers + 2 Jumbo fries + Tax = $13.20
Wendy's 4 pks 5 piece nuggets @ $1.19 ea + 3 bacon cheeseburgers @ $1.00 ea + 2 spicy cheicken sandwiches + 3 $1.00 fries = $18.50
Little Caesar's On Mondays, pizzas are $3.99 ea 3 pizzas + tax= $13.20
Popeye's Fried Chicken (Yum!) 11 pc box $9.99 + family size fries $4.00 + 2 extra legs @$1.50 = $18.50
Wal Mart Deli Bucket deal (If yours has it) 3 lbs from the deli for $10. We get 1 lb chicken strips, 1.5 popcorn chicken and .5 lb General Tso Chicken + 1.5 lbs potatoes approx $3.50 + tax = $14 and change
Fazoli's On Tuesdays, kids meals are $.99 ea. They're big enough that I get one too. 6 kids meals + something for my husband (around $4) + tax $11.50
The biggest tip is to buy the big size fries and share them. If your kids each "need" their own boxes, ask for them. I've never had a cashier tell me no. (helpful tip - keep extra fry boxes in the car for splitting up snacks)
Dining Out
Logan's Roadhouse Mondays and Tuesdays all day and evening have 2 adult entrees for $13.99 kids meals are $2.99 each and include a drink. The baby still eats off of my plate $13.99 + 5 @ 2.99 + tip & tax = $35.00
If you're in OKC, we love Bellini's for fine dining. Go at lunch and eat out on the patio if you're taking the kids. The portions are generous and the waiters are friendly. (If you live somewhere else, I'm sure you have local favorites that would be comparable. Pollo Pancetta (it's huge. I split it with #1 & #6) $12 + Spaghetti w/ meatballs (split with #5) $9 + hand tossed pizza for everyone else $11 + tax & tip = $40 if you take the kids at night, the same thing runs close to $55. Avoid the crowds. Go after Mass on Sunday.
Eating at a sit-down restaurant on a budget requires planning. Look up the menu ahead of time so you get an idea of what things cost. If you really like a restaurant, sign up on line for discounts. We get 15-20% of coupons regularly in our inbox. This helps tremendously. Also, have you looked at restaurants.com ? You buy a $25 gift cert for $10 ($2 if you buy it before the 16th use the code BIG at check out) There is a minimum purchase usually of $35 required, so you'll spend $20 for $35 worth of food. ($17 if you buy it in the next 3 days!!!! If you like the restaurants they have in your area, sign up for the meal of the month club. You get a $25 gift cert every month for the year for $120. If you use the code BIG, you get it for $24 so you can use the discount all year. Yay!) There are good deals everywhere, you just have to look, ask, and read the fine print.
Internet disclaimer : I have not been paid by any of these companies to promote their products. Although, if Bellini's wants to give us a free brunch, or restaurant.com wants to kick in a gift cert, I wouldn't turn it down.
Fast Food on the Cheap
Taco Bell 16 crispy tacos @ $.89ea + tax = $15.50
Carl's Jr Friday night is $.85 star burger night 8 burgers + 2 Jumbo fries + Tax = $13.20
Wendy's 4 pks 5 piece nuggets @ $1.19 ea + 3 bacon cheeseburgers @ $1.00 ea + 2 spicy cheicken sandwiches + 3 $1.00 fries = $18.50
Little Caesar's On Mondays, pizzas are $3.99 ea 3 pizzas + tax= $13.20
Popeye's Fried Chicken (Yum!) 11 pc box $9.99 + family size fries $4.00 + 2 extra legs @$1.50 = $18.50
Wal Mart Deli Bucket deal (If yours has it) 3 lbs from the deli for $10. We get 1 lb chicken strips, 1.5 popcorn chicken and .5 lb General Tso Chicken + 1.5 lbs potatoes approx $3.50 + tax = $14 and change
Fazoli's On Tuesdays, kids meals are $.99 ea. They're big enough that I get one too. 6 kids meals + something for my husband (around $4) + tax $11.50
The biggest tip is to buy the big size fries and share them. If your kids each "need" their own boxes, ask for them. I've never had a cashier tell me no. (helpful tip - keep extra fry boxes in the car for splitting up snacks)
Dining Out
Logan's Roadhouse Mondays and Tuesdays all day and evening have 2 adult entrees for $13.99 kids meals are $2.99 each and include a drink. The baby still eats off of my plate $13.99 + 5 @ 2.99 + tip & tax = $35.00
If you're in OKC, we love Bellini's for fine dining. Go at lunch and eat out on the patio if you're taking the kids. The portions are generous and the waiters are friendly. (If you live somewhere else, I'm sure you have local favorites that would be comparable. Pollo Pancetta (it's huge. I split it with #1 & #6) $12 + Spaghetti w/ meatballs (split with #5) $9 + hand tossed pizza for everyone else $11 + tax & tip = $40 if you take the kids at night, the same thing runs close to $55. Avoid the crowds. Go after Mass on Sunday.
Eating at a sit-down restaurant on a budget requires planning. Look up the menu ahead of time so you get an idea of what things cost. If you really like a restaurant, sign up on line for discounts. We get 15-20% of coupons regularly in our inbox. This helps tremendously. Also, have you looked at restaurants.com ? You buy a $25 gift cert for $10 ($2 if you buy it before the 16th use the code BIG at check out) There is a minimum purchase usually of $35 required, so you'll spend $20 for $35 worth of food. ($17 if you buy it in the next 3 days!!!! If you like the restaurants they have in your area, sign up for the meal of the month club. You get a $25 gift cert every month for the year for $120. If you use the code BIG, you get it for $24 so you can use the discount all year. Yay!) There are good deals everywhere, you just have to look, ask, and read the fine print.
Internet disclaimer : I have not been paid by any of these companies to promote their products. Although, if Bellini's wants to give us a free brunch, or restaurant.com wants to kick in a gift cert, I wouldn't turn it down.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Nodlings
Head on over to Wynken, Blynken, and Nod and congratulate him on his 6th Nodling! Half a dozen kids....man.....what was he thinking?
Allowances
We give our kids allowance beginning when they turn 5. I hate the term "allowance" and would rather call it a salary, but they didn't go along with that.
Our children must earn their allowances. They have specific chores for each day of the week. Things like sweep the kitchen and entryway, vacuum the living room, wash the lunch dishes, etc. The chores are on top of keeping their rooms clean and doing their school work. These things are their jobs as children in our home.
As with any job, the people in charge ( their parents ) expect them to do the things on their to-do lists without having to be nagged or followed around. They get one free reminder per day in addition to the jobs' being posted on the white board in our kitchen. Every additional reminder costs them. We used to ground or spank. I've tried yelling and pleading, but docking their pay is the most effective thing I've found.
Every Friday night, we call them together, and the Computer Guy and I pay them. We then discuss any problems we've had during the week and they must pay us back out of their allowance for whatever they were docked. ( Example: I paid #2 his $5. He had a week where he had to be constantly reminded to do his chores and his school. He actually tried to sneak not doing his math 2 days. He had to pay us back $3 out of his pay. The next week, we had no problems.)
Each child has a bank and a check register to record how much money they have. (We got these for free from our bank. Just ask for them.) Their allowances are written down and added to the total. Every purchase, no matter how small, is written down and subtracted. They always know to the penny how much they have at any given time.
We think it is important to teach children how to manage money and balance a checkbook. We want them to understand that small splurges are okay, but they delay reaching a larger goal. We think it's important that they know to add the delay in getting whatever they're saving for as a part of the cost of an extra Icee or candy bar at the store.
Some are better than others at this, as I expected they would be. My main goal is to take the mystery out of handling money. I want them to make their mistakes now when it is relatively painless instead of when they are on their own for the first time. I had no concept of money when I got my first apartment, and it was a long time before I even began to start figuring it out. I want them to have the gift of financial confidence. That's why we do it the way we do.
Our children must earn their allowances. They have specific chores for each day of the week. Things like sweep the kitchen and entryway, vacuum the living room, wash the lunch dishes, etc. The chores are on top of keeping their rooms clean and doing their school work. These things are their jobs as children in our home.
As with any job, the people in charge ( their parents ) expect them to do the things on their to-do lists without having to be nagged or followed around. They get one free reminder per day in addition to the jobs' being posted on the white board in our kitchen. Every additional reminder costs them. We used to ground or spank. I've tried yelling and pleading, but docking their pay is the most effective thing I've found.
Every Friday night, we call them together, and the Computer Guy and I pay them. We then discuss any problems we've had during the week and they must pay us back out of their allowance for whatever they were docked. ( Example: I paid #2 his $5. He had a week where he had to be constantly reminded to do his chores and his school. He actually tried to sneak not doing his math 2 days. He had to pay us back $3 out of his pay. The next week, we had no problems.)
Each child has a bank and a check register to record how much money they have. (We got these for free from our bank. Just ask for them.) Their allowances are written down and added to the total. Every purchase, no matter how small, is written down and subtracted. They always know to the penny how much they have at any given time.
We think it is important to teach children how to manage money and balance a checkbook. We want them to understand that small splurges are okay, but they delay reaching a larger goal. We think it's important that they know to add the delay in getting whatever they're saving for as a part of the cost of an extra Icee or candy bar at the store.
Some are better than others at this, as I expected they would be. My main goal is to take the mystery out of handling money. I want them to make their mistakes now when it is relatively painless instead of when they are on their own for the first time. I had no concept of money when I got my first apartment, and it was a long time before I even began to start figuring it out. I want them to have the gift of financial confidence. That's why we do it the way we do.
Because You Asked -- What's In The Envelopes
Colleen asked, " P.S. Can you share how much cash you put in each category? I really want to implement this, but would like a general idea of what to spend per month..."
Colleen, I don't know what your budget will allow, but here's what we do every two weeks. Please remember that this is after doing a 2 week grocery shop. In the random order I found them in the lock box:
- After Mass donuts $15
- gas for the cars (after payday fill-up) $40
- milk $30
- allowances $45 (allowances are per week as follows: 13 year old $10, 9 & 10 year olds $5 each, 6 year old $2.50)
- eating out $40
- fresh produce for week 2 $30
- Misc. stuff $100
- toiletries (diapers, wipes, razors, soap, laundry det, etc.) $80 This gets an envelope because I look for sales and bargains and don't buy it all at once.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Mental Meanderings
I'm nursing a migraine for the third day straight. I just want to curl up in a ball in the dark and sleep until it goes away. Last night at 1AM, I considered using the Computer Guy's cordless drill to relieve the pressure in my noggin. I couldn't find the batteries. You know it's bad when brain surgery by Black and Decker sounds like a good idea.
****************************************
My prayer buddy is working overtime on the school and moving front. Nothing I can share today, but definite improvements. Thanks, PB! Now can you add in a lottery win? Thanks.
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We're going to the drive in tonight with my children and a couple of their friends. I haven't been to a drive in for years. What will I wear?
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I'm putting the neighbors on notice : Just because I'm home all day with my children doesn't mean I want to be home all day with yours. Can you find something for them to do that doesn't include destroying my house? That would be great. It would also be cool if you made sure they had food. They keep coming over here for lunch, snacks, and begging for dinner. It doesn't have to be grand, glass of water and crust of bread should be fine.
I wouldn't mind a child or two, but 10 or more in addition to my six in my house everyday is ridiculous. I didn't choose to be a stay at home mom so that I could raise your children. Thanks.
****************************************
Dark chocolate gelato is divine. Why haven't I had this before now?
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I'm kind of tired of people asking if I'm pregnant.
"I'm having a bad day and want to cry."
"Are you pregnant?"
"This migraine is making me nauseated."
"Are you pregnant?"
I get to have emotions and be queasy for the same reasons as other people. Stop asking me. You're being annoying. (Stop yourself, Nod and LarryD. You don't want to ask.)
*****************************************
The Computer Guy makes a nice salary. Somehow we still qualify for free school lunches. There's such a thing after all, you just have to have 6 kids to get it.
******************************************
I'm tired, my head is caving in, and I'm a grump. I'm putting myself in time-out and maybe even down for a nap.
****************************************
My prayer buddy is working overtime on the school and moving front. Nothing I can share today, but definite improvements. Thanks, PB! Now can you add in a lottery win? Thanks.
****************************************
We're going to the drive in tonight with my children and a couple of their friends. I haven't been to a drive in for years. What will I wear?
****************************************
I'm putting the neighbors on notice : Just because I'm home all day with my children doesn't mean I want to be home all day with yours. Can you find something for them to do that doesn't include destroying my house? That would be great. It would also be cool if you made sure they had food. They keep coming over here for lunch, snacks, and begging for dinner. It doesn't have to be grand, glass of water and crust of bread should be fine.
I wouldn't mind a child or two, but 10 or more in addition to my six in my house everyday is ridiculous. I didn't choose to be a stay at home mom so that I could raise your children. Thanks.
****************************************
Dark chocolate gelato is divine. Why haven't I had this before now?
****************************************
I'm kind of tired of people asking if I'm pregnant.
"I'm having a bad day and want to cry."
"Are you pregnant?"
"This migraine is making me nauseated."
"Are you pregnant?"
I get to have emotions and be queasy for the same reasons as other people. Stop asking me. You're being annoying. (Stop yourself, Nod and LarryD. You don't want to ask.)
*****************************************
The Computer Guy makes a nice salary. Somehow we still qualify for free school lunches. There's such a thing after all, you just have to have 6 kids to get it.
******************************************
I'm tired, my head is caving in, and I'm a grump. I'm putting myself in time-out and maybe even down for a nap.
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Method Behind My Cheapness
We live amazingly well on a tight budget. Years of poverty early in our marriage coupled with our hatred of waste has made us self-proclaimed experts on cheap living. It is our fiscal ability which has made supporting our large family possible. I'm often asked how we do it. I'm not sure it's all that unusual, but here's how we do it:
1. I budget monthly down to the penny. I know where the Computer Guy's paycheck is going before it even hits the bank.
2. We operate on the envelope system. Everything which is not paid electronically through our checking account is paid in cash. I sort the cash into appropriately labeled envelopes every payday. (Examples of envelopes: eating out, children's activities, allowances, grocery store splurges, etc.) When the envelope for a particular category is empty, we have no more money for that item. Then we have to either borrow from another envelope (after much debate) or do without.
3. Pay cash for everything. Our motto is "If you can't pay cash, you can't afford it." Credit cards? What's that? Check cards can get you into big trouble if you aren't scrupulous about writing everything down. Use cash. It feels more like spending real money.
4. Allow yourself one splurge in your budget. We budget for the splurges. If you don't give yourself that one thing you won't stick to the plan.
5. Know the butcher in your grocery store. Be on a first name basis with him. Shop at the same time on the same day of the week. If he knows you're coming and what you like he'll hold it back for you. I never pay full price for meat because of this. The stuff that usually gets ground into hamburger gets set aside every other Friday morning until I can pick and choose at 9AM. Meat is the biggest chunk of our food budget. Never pay full price.
6. Diapers go on sale all the time. (It's every 3rd week at CVS.) Learn the schedules. Clip coupons or print them off and wait. CVS and Walgreens will let you stack coupons on top of each other. (I just bought packages of Huggies for $2.50 each.) Never pay full price.
7. School books for homeschooling. half.com or Amazon or one of the other used book sites. ( My daughter's Spanish book for this year is listed at $111.53 new. I paid $.50) Never pay full price until you have researched it. College books can be rented now. Save the money for cute shoes!
8. No cable for us! We turned off the cable which was running us $60 a month and turned on NetFlix for $8.99. We stream everything to our TV through the Wii. We don't miss the cable. We saved $51 a month.
9. I signed us up with a minute monitor on our cell phones. When we've used 75% of the minutes it texts us a warning. We get another if we hit 100% I signed my phone and #1's up for 250 text messages each per month. We get warnings about that too. We cut back on our minutes and never go over. It cut our bill in half. The monitor is free from our provider. Why wouldn't you use it?
10. Everything but meat and toiletries comes from Aldi. 2 weeks worth of food for the 8 of us averages $180. We were spending $300 at the regular grocery store for the same stuff.
11. There are lots of fun activities that the kids could do. They get one at a time. This saves my schedule and my bottom line.
12. Coupons, coupons, coupons! Sign up for free sites on line and for Frugal Girls on Facebook. Match the coupons to the ads. You have to be organized and it takes some time to get used to buying things in ridiculous quantities, but the first time you get $200 in groceries for less than $20 it will all be worth it. Treat this like a part time job. Never pay full price for anything! (Are you noticing a theme here?)
13. Hang your clothes to dry. Our rule is "If the Air Conditioner is running, the dryer isn't" It's 105* today. The clothes dried in 10 minutes. I throw them in the dryer on Air Fluff to break up the stiffness. It takes 5 minutes. Our electric bill went down $100 last month.
14. Set the thermostats on 80* in this heat. We have acclimated and are fine. A/C is expensive. Use it as little as possible.
15. Wash out the inside of your A/C units at the end of the sping. Ours get full of cottonwood fluff. It makes them infinitely more efficient.
16. Shower timers.
17. No gym except in the winter. The weather is gorgeous outside, so why would you go workout inside? The outdoors is free. Use it.
18. Dollar movies. Once a month we load up the kids and go to the movies. Tuesdays at our local dollar movie theater are $.50 admission days.
19. Make a list of all the free admission days at local museums and attractions. For example, the natural history museum in OKC is free on the 1st Monday of every month. Every other day it is $6 a person. There are 8 of us. Free is better.
20. I buy the boys' jeans at Goodwill. They are hard on jeans. Goodwill puts denim on sale on Sundays. When the jeans cost $1 a pair, I don't care if they get ripped.
That's what I've got for now. If I think of more, I'll do another post. So what do you do to save money?
1. I budget monthly down to the penny. I know where the Computer Guy's paycheck is going before it even hits the bank.
2. We operate on the envelope system. Everything which is not paid electronically through our checking account is paid in cash. I sort the cash into appropriately labeled envelopes every payday. (Examples of envelopes: eating out, children's activities, allowances, grocery store splurges, etc.) When the envelope for a particular category is empty, we have no more money for that item. Then we have to either borrow from another envelope (after much debate) or do without.
3. Pay cash for everything. Our motto is "If you can't pay cash, you can't afford it." Credit cards? What's that? Check cards can get you into big trouble if you aren't scrupulous about writing everything down. Use cash. It feels more like spending real money.
4. Allow yourself one splurge in your budget. We budget for the splurges. If you don't give yourself that one thing you won't stick to the plan.
5. Know the butcher in your grocery store. Be on a first name basis with him. Shop at the same time on the same day of the week. If he knows you're coming and what you like he'll hold it back for you. I never pay full price for meat because of this. The stuff that usually gets ground into hamburger gets set aside every other Friday morning until I can pick and choose at 9AM. Meat is the biggest chunk of our food budget. Never pay full price.
6. Diapers go on sale all the time. (It's every 3rd week at CVS.) Learn the schedules. Clip coupons or print them off and wait. CVS and Walgreens will let you stack coupons on top of each other. (I just bought packages of Huggies for $2.50 each.) Never pay full price.
7. School books for homeschooling. half.com or Amazon or one of the other used book sites. ( My daughter's Spanish book for this year is listed at $111.53 new. I paid $.50) Never pay full price until you have researched it. College books can be rented now. Save the money for cute shoes!
8. No cable for us! We turned off the cable which was running us $60 a month and turned on NetFlix for $8.99. We stream everything to our TV through the Wii. We don't miss the cable. We saved $51 a month.
9. I signed us up with a minute monitor on our cell phones. When we've used 75% of the minutes it texts us a warning. We get another if we hit 100% I signed my phone and #1's up for 250 text messages each per month. We get warnings about that too. We cut back on our minutes and never go over. It cut our bill in half. The monitor is free from our provider. Why wouldn't you use it?
10. Everything but meat and toiletries comes from Aldi. 2 weeks worth of food for the 8 of us averages $180. We were spending $300 at the regular grocery store for the same stuff.
11. There are lots of fun activities that the kids could do. They get one at a time. This saves my schedule and my bottom line.
12. Coupons, coupons, coupons! Sign up for free sites on line and for Frugal Girls on Facebook. Match the coupons to the ads. You have to be organized and it takes some time to get used to buying things in ridiculous quantities, but the first time you get $200 in groceries for less than $20 it will all be worth it. Treat this like a part time job. Never pay full price for anything! (Are you noticing a theme here?)
13. Hang your clothes to dry. Our rule is "If the Air Conditioner is running, the dryer isn't" It's 105* today. The clothes dried in 10 minutes. I throw them in the dryer on Air Fluff to break up the stiffness. It takes 5 minutes. Our electric bill went down $100 last month.
14. Set the thermostats on 80* in this heat. We have acclimated and are fine. A/C is expensive. Use it as little as possible.
15. Wash out the inside of your A/C units at the end of the sping. Ours get full of cottonwood fluff. It makes them infinitely more efficient.
16. Shower timers.
17. No gym except in the winter. The weather is gorgeous outside, so why would you go workout inside? The outdoors is free. Use it.
18. Dollar movies. Once a month we load up the kids and go to the movies. Tuesdays at our local dollar movie theater are $.50 admission days.
19. Make a list of all the free admission days at local museums and attractions. For example, the natural history museum in OKC is free on the 1st Monday of every month. Every other day it is $6 a person. There are 8 of us. Free is better.
20. I buy the boys' jeans at Goodwill. They are hard on jeans. Goodwill puts denim on sale on Sundays. When the jeans cost $1 a pair, I don't care if they get ripped.
That's what I've got for now. If I think of more, I'll do another post. So what do you do to save money?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Measure of Friendship
We went this evening to have dinner with Drea from The Escape. ( Are you reading her yet? ) I knew we were friends when we made the crazed call to say, "We're not coming after all. We're 5 minutes from your house and the 3 year old just threw up all over the back seat of the car."
To which she calmly replied, "Why aren't you coming? It's just puke. I have clean clothes to put on him and a carpet shampooer."
Sure enough, her husband met us outside the house with the shampooer in hand and helped my sweet Computer Guy wipe down seats and clean the upholstery. She had clean washcloths ready to wipe off the boy, and then offered my husband a beer and me a margarita.
See why we love them?
To which she calmly replied, "Why aren't you coming? It's just puke. I have clean clothes to put on him and a carpet shampooer."
Sure enough, her husband met us outside the house with the shampooer in hand and helped my sweet Computer Guy wipe down seats and clean the upholstery. She had clean washcloths ready to wipe off the boy, and then offered my husband a beer and me a margarita.
See why we love them?
Saturday, August 7, 2010
My Stunt Double
Yesterday, I spent several hours running errands related to #3 and the school system. I left #1 in charge of the whole shooting match and called often to check in with her. She may be responsible and comfortable with crowd control, but I'm a mom so I still worry. I don't need to.
#2 got into a bit of a dust up at swim team practice at our neighborhood pool. The kids were horsing around at the end of practice and he pushed a bigger kid into the water. The bigger boy retaliated by jumping out of the pool, wrapping his goggles around his hand and then punching my son in the back with what I have learned is called a "goggle punch." Nobody told me. They didn't see the need.
#1 had handled it. Her brother came home with a bruised and scraped back and she saw red. She drew herself up to her full 5 foot 1 inch of height and stormed over to the pool. She demanded apologies. She insisted on repercussions for the older boy. She got in his face and scolded him for his bad behavior. It must have been effective, because I'm told that he hung his head in shame and his eyes teared up under the weight of her stare. I had no idea she was so formidable. Not a single one of my children told me it had happened. Why would they when it was handled so well?
In fact, I was shocked this morning when the coach came over to apologize for my son's bruised back. She assured me that the offender had been dealt with and was banned from the pool for the weekend. She went on to praise my daughter. "If only they all had older siblings like that," she said, "I wouldn't have to worry so much."
I guess neither do I. The girl I thought I had left in charge is actually a fierce lioness protecting them all. May God help the person who crosses her siblings on her watch.
It just leaves me wondering what else I don't know.
#2 got into a bit of a dust up at swim team practice at our neighborhood pool. The kids were horsing around at the end of practice and he pushed a bigger kid into the water. The bigger boy retaliated by jumping out of the pool, wrapping his goggles around his hand and then punching my son in the back with what I have learned is called a "goggle punch." Nobody told me. They didn't see the need.
#1 had handled it. Her brother came home with a bruised and scraped back and she saw red. She drew herself up to her full 5 foot 1 inch of height and stormed over to the pool. She demanded apologies. She insisted on repercussions for the older boy. She got in his face and scolded him for his bad behavior. It must have been effective, because I'm told that he hung his head in shame and his eyes teared up under the weight of her stare. I had no idea she was so formidable. Not a single one of my children told me it had happened. Why would they when it was handled so well?
In fact, I was shocked this morning when the coach came over to apologize for my son's bruised back. She assured me that the offender had been dealt with and was banned from the pool for the weekend. She went on to praise my daughter. "If only they all had older siblings like that," she said, "I wouldn't have to worry so much."
I guess neither do I. The girl I thought I had left in charge is actually a fierce lioness protecting them all. May God help the person who crosses her siblings on her watch.
It just leaves me wondering what else I don't know.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Not a Baby Any More---Happy Birthday #6
What an amazing year this has been, my son. You started off so small and quiet. Being new was hard, so you slept. A lot.
You learned about being loved.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Five Favorite Devotions
LarryD at Acts of the Apostasy tagged me with a meme asking me to list my five favorite devotions.
They are, in random order:
1. The Divine Mercy Chaplet
2. The Holy Rosary
3. Stations of the Cross
4. St Michael's Prayer
5. St Rita's Novena
Part of the meme is to tag five other bloggers. So as not to anger the meme gods, I tag:
Leile at Little Catholic Bubble
Sew at Sew Infertile
Laura the Crazy Mama from Laura the Crazy Mama
CathMom5 at St Walburga's Blog
Maurisa at Half a Dozen Productions
That's it, kids. Tag, you're it!
They are, in random order:
1. The Divine Mercy Chaplet
2. The Holy Rosary
3. Stations of the Cross
4. St Michael's Prayer
5. St Rita's Novena
Part of the meme is to tag five other bloggers. So as not to anger the meme gods, I tag:
Leile at Little Catholic Bubble
Sew at Sew Infertile
Laura the Crazy Mama from Laura the Crazy Mama
CathMom5 at St Walburga's Blog
Maurisa at Half a Dozen Productions
That's it, kids. Tag, you're it!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Hungarian Dancing
The whole public school system seems to be incredibly inefficient and not at all designed to be parent friendly or even geared to best help the children enrolled in it. To be blunt about it, their customer service sucks. I've spent days on the phone with them. I've been down there in person. The people at the school district are doing the Hungarian D*ck Dance.
You don't know this term? It comes from a grandmother I know. She went to Europe on vacation and came home with tales of Hungarian male folk dancers who stand with their hands folded over their crotches and look musical while the women dance around them. (I've googled it and it looks nothing like this. I don't know what country she was actually in. It's not my saying. I just use it.) Standing around, looking busy while other people make you look busy and you pretend to be doing something. The Hungarian D*ck Dance. The people at the school district are experts at it.
People wonder why I despise the public schools. They get offended by my loathing. I like the teachers I know. I hate the system. It is a phenomenal waste of time and resources. It is sucking up my energy and stressing out my son who just wants to know which school will be his. It seems like an easy question but it turns out that it s complicated.
He will have to start on Day 1 at a school without the resources he needs. If there is room at a different school, he will be transferred on Day 2. They do the testing he needs there. In the third week, and not before, they will begin testing him (repeating many of the tests his psychologist already did) to determine what kind of services he actually needs. These tests will take 30-45 days to complete. (They've had 70 days since I enrolled him, but nobody was available during the summer to test him. This makes no sense to me.) Then at the end of October or mid-November when the results are in, they will at last transfer him to the school he should have attended all along. They will have wasted an entire semester of his time.
I've tried to explain anxiety disorders. I've begged for them to just start him in the school which the head of Special Services admits he needs to attend. They have procedures which must be followed and what is best for my son's mental health is irrelevant.
I'm not sure exactly what is going on at the school district offices, but I'm pretty sure that there are Hungarians there and that they're dancing.
You don't know this term? It comes from a grandmother I know. She went to Europe on vacation and came home with tales of Hungarian male folk dancers who stand with their hands folded over their crotches and look musical while the women dance around them. (I've googled it and it looks nothing like this. I don't know what country she was actually in. It's not my saying. I just use it.) Standing around, looking busy while other people make you look busy and you pretend to be doing something. The Hungarian D*ck Dance. The people at the school district are experts at it.
People wonder why I despise the public schools. They get offended by my loathing. I like the teachers I know. I hate the system. It is a phenomenal waste of time and resources. It is sucking up my energy and stressing out my son who just wants to know which school will be his. It seems like an easy question but it turns out that it s complicated.
He will have to start on Day 1 at a school without the resources he needs. If there is room at a different school, he will be transferred on Day 2. They do the testing he needs there. In the third week, and not before, they will begin testing him (repeating many of the tests his psychologist already did) to determine what kind of services he actually needs. These tests will take 30-45 days to complete. (They've had 70 days since I enrolled him, but nobody was available during the summer to test him. This makes no sense to me.) Then at the end of October or mid-November when the results are in, they will at last transfer him to the school he should have attended all along. They will have wasted an entire semester of his time.
I've tried to explain anxiety disorders. I've begged for them to just start him in the school which the head of Special Services admits he needs to attend. They have procedures which must be followed and what is best for my son's mental health is irrelevant.
I'm not sure exactly what is going on at the school district offices, but I'm pretty sure that there are Hungarians there and that they're dancing.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
What's Cookin', Mama? (Recipe Swap)
A day late around here, but still here. Today's theme is Dress to Impress Company's coming. What are you cooking to wow them but still have time to look amazing?
At my house, I'm cooking
Honey Pecan Glazed Chicken
1 boneless skinless chicken breast pounded to near uniform thickness per person plus a couple extra for the guys
3 cups buttermilk
Seasoned flour (see below)
oil for frying
Seasoned flour:
2 cups flour
1 tbsp salt
1 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp white pepper
1/2 tbsp cayenne pepper (when the kids aren't eating with us, I up this to a whole tbsp)
Honey-Pecan Glaze
1 stick of butter, melted and clarified (that means you get out the solid fat and salt that gathers in the bottom of the pan when you melt the butter)
1/2 cup pecans, chopped
3/4 cup honey
Mix all of the seasoned flour ingredients together. Heat oil to 350*
Dredge chicken in flour, dip in buttermilk, run it through the flour again. Put chicken in oil for 4-5 minutes until golden brown and cooked through. (I wait until it floats.) Remove from oil and place on paper towels to drain. (If I need to keep them warm, I put the chicken on a plate in a 100* oven until they're all finished cooking.)
Glaze- Melt butter in a pan. Add pecans and heat together briefly. Add honey and mix well.
Serve chicken breast topped with glaze. Yum!
Okay, it's your turn. What's cooking for company at your house?
Next week, we're cooking for your sweet tooth. What's for dessert?
Below is a linky list if you'd like to add a link to your own Recipe. (1) Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your post and not your main blog URL. (2) Include a link back here.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Eureka! He did it!
He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't. Then he decided that he could.
(I know I forgot "What's Cookin'" today. I promise to do it tomorrow and buy myself a calendar.)
It's sideways. I don't know how to fix that. Please turn your head or skip this one.
(I know I forgot "What's Cookin'" today. I promise to do it tomorrow and buy myself a calendar.)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
TLM- Praying in Silence
This morning by happy accident (no one could find the 3 year old's shoes until past the time for us to leave) we ended up at the local TLM chapel instead of our regular Novus Ordo parish. We have friends who are regular parishioners there, and have attended Mass there on rare occasion in their old church.
I grew up in the early post-Vatican II era. I can remember the time before people held hands during the Our Father. I was a small girl when the Communion rails were removed from our church and the old ladies shook their heads and cried. I was 11 when girls were allowed to serve at Mass. The late 70s and early 80s were an interesting time to be a Catholic. Things were changing all the time, and most of the Catholics I knew were eager to embrace the changes.
I never saw a Latin Mass until a few years ago. I never knew how much I missed it. The folksy, friendly and welcoming atmosphere of most N.O. was exactly what I wanted. There was a familiarity there. I got to participate in everything which was going on in the church. I sang, followed along, gave the appropriate responses, and prayed with the rest of the congregation. Most Sundays that is enough for me. I love the Mass.
Today's Mass was a different experience altogether. I've been before. I don't know how I missed the silence. I don't know how I missed the calm and the peace. Before the Mass, there was no talking at all. No chatting, just respectful silence and a swiftly moving line of penitents at the Confessional. (There was Confession before Mass. Not at 3:30 on a Saturday and only for half an hour, but before Mass began)
Once the processional began, I realized that, to my delight, nothing was required of me but to pray. The squirmy baby in my arms usually distracts me as I try to follow along. Today I just prayed. The Mass washed over me in a soothing stream of Latin. The chanting of the priest was met by the soaring voices of the choir. The boys at the altar were serious about their duties and yet obviously joyful in the doing of them. The whole of the Celebration was as smooth and as beautiful as a well-rehearsed dance. I watched it all in appreciation, and then bowed my head and prayed.
All week long, I have to talk. My voice and direction are required. Silence is a rare commodity for me. I never realized how much I value it until I went to the one place where my voice is not required, is not expected. How refreshing that was to me. How rejuvenated my spirit felt to spend just one hour at rest. I had never thought of speaking the responses and singing the songs as one more chore, but at the end of a long hard week, it was so welcome to not have to give them.
After Mass, there were no loud voices in the sanctuary. People knelt quietly in prayer and then left in silence. The chatting and greeting was left for the vestibule. The prayers of others were strictly respected within the walls of the church. I haven't seen such respect since I was a young child at my grandmother's church.
I don't know when we will be back at St Damian's. The Computer Guy was not as enamored as I was. He likes it just fine, but to him Mass is Mass. To me, it was a wonderful surprise, a welcome break. I was at the one place in the city where nothing is asked of me, nothing is required. I got to simply rest in the presence of God and allow Him to enter in and take my fatigue away. What a pleasure and a gift such peace is. How did we ever let it get taken away?
I grew up in the early post-Vatican II era. I can remember the time before people held hands during the Our Father. I was a small girl when the Communion rails were removed from our church and the old ladies shook their heads and cried. I was 11 when girls were allowed to serve at Mass. The late 70s and early 80s were an interesting time to be a Catholic. Things were changing all the time, and most of the Catholics I knew were eager to embrace the changes.
I never saw a Latin Mass until a few years ago. I never knew how much I missed it. The folksy, friendly and welcoming atmosphere of most N.O. was exactly what I wanted. There was a familiarity there. I got to participate in everything which was going on in the church. I sang, followed along, gave the appropriate responses, and prayed with the rest of the congregation. Most Sundays that is enough for me. I love the Mass.
Today's Mass was a different experience altogether. I've been before. I don't know how I missed the silence. I don't know how I missed the calm and the peace. Before the Mass, there was no talking at all. No chatting, just respectful silence and a swiftly moving line of penitents at the Confessional. (There was Confession before Mass. Not at 3:30 on a Saturday and only for half an hour, but before Mass began)
Once the processional began, I realized that, to my delight, nothing was required of me but to pray. The squirmy baby in my arms usually distracts me as I try to follow along. Today I just prayed. The Mass washed over me in a soothing stream of Latin. The chanting of the priest was met by the soaring voices of the choir. The boys at the altar were serious about their duties and yet obviously joyful in the doing of them. The whole of the Celebration was as smooth and as beautiful as a well-rehearsed dance. I watched it all in appreciation, and then bowed my head and prayed.
All week long, I have to talk. My voice and direction are required. Silence is a rare commodity for me. I never realized how much I value it until I went to the one place where my voice is not required, is not expected. How refreshing that was to me. How rejuvenated my spirit felt to spend just one hour at rest. I had never thought of speaking the responses and singing the songs as one more chore, but at the end of a long hard week, it was so welcome to not have to give them.
After Mass, there were no loud voices in the sanctuary. People knelt quietly in prayer and then left in silence. The chatting and greeting was left for the vestibule. The prayers of others were strictly respected within the walls of the church. I haven't seen such respect since I was a young child at my grandmother's church.
I don't know when we will be back at St Damian's. The Computer Guy was not as enamored as I was. He likes it just fine, but to him Mass is Mass. To me, it was a wonderful surprise, a welcome break. I was at the one place in the city where nothing is asked of me, nothing is required. I got to simply rest in the presence of God and allow Him to enter in and take my fatigue away. What a pleasure and a gift such peace is. How did we ever let it get taken away?
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