It's Amazing I've Lived This Long

I was on the phone this afternoon with one of the grandmothers in our family.  The third time I cleared my throat and winced, she asked what I was doing for my obviously sore throat.

"Hot tea, lozenges and stuff to dry me up," I told her.

"Wrap your left sock around it." She told me.  I wasn't sure I had heard her correctly so I asked her to repeat herself.  "My grandmother always told me to take off my left sock and wrap it around my neck when it hurt.  I don't know that it did anything, but it couldn't hurt."

I wasn't wearing socks at the time, so I got an old pair out of the laundry.  After staring at them for a minute or two, I decided that I couldn't tell right from left and put them both on my neck.  Which is the point at which my eldest daughter walked through the door and looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"My throat hurts," I lamely explained.  She rolled her eyes and walked away.

It got me thinking of all the crazy things our grandparents have tried to get me to do in the name of health.

• There was the jar of rancid rabbit fat under the kitchen sink.  I was supposed to smear it liberally on cuts and burns.  
• Not to be outdone, the other side of the family had a jar of goose fat for the same purpose.
• When I was 6 and got a black eye, my grandfather examined it, got up from the table and left the room.  He returned a few minutes later with a fresh cow patty for me to put on my swollen lids.  (Mom wouldn't let him.  Bless her.)
• There was a chunk of aloe vera to eat for dry skin. (It works wonders on wrinkles!)
• Have a headache? Split a pinto bean in half and put one piece on each of your temples
• Sore throats called for left socks and onion tea with a heaping teaspoon of sugar in it.
• There was a jar of moonshine with rock candy in it for when we were "feeling poorly."

• One grandmother ate Vick's vaporub every morning to ward off sinus infections and tried to get us to try it, too.

I'm sure there were others that I have blocked from memory in order to forget the trauma of reliving them.  I tell the Computer Guy that our family was a little bit country, and I don't think he believes me....but I'll bet he also never had to run from a grandma chasing him with rabbit fat.

De-Cluttering and Liquid Smoke

  I started cleaning out the house last week to get it ready to be shown.  After a dozen trips to Goodwill and at least that many to our storage unit, I've come to one conclusion...we have too much stuff.  We own way more than what we actually need.  It's got me rethinking our lifestyle.  We are such a part of the American consumerist culture that we don't even realize how much we have over-purchased, over-bought, and over-consumed.

For someone who claims to be frugal, I'm shocked by the amount of money I have wasted.  Because I'm not the most organized person, I tend to buy the same things over and over because I can't find them when I need them.   I own 6 bottles of liquid smoke.  Liquid smoke!  That's bordering on the ridiculous there.

Sorting and packing has turned out to be a physical examination of conscience.  I can see the physical effects of my own laziness, disorganization, and greed.  I'm ashamed at the shambles my house is once the surface is scratched. What a blessing this is becoming for me.  It is holding up a mirror to my faults at the same time it is giving me the opportunity to be charitable, kind, and giving.

With every load of unwanted, and mostly unused stuff that I haul over to donate, I can feel the weight lift from my shoulders and the change it is bringing to my soul.  It is a painful and liberating process, and I am leaning into it.

The hardest part is finding someone in need of liquid smoke.  Any takers?

Advent Prayer Buddy Reveal

It was my great pleasure this Advent Season to pray for Percolating Petals.  She is a first time mom who weathered the trials of infertility before finally giving birth to their miracle girl, Katie Beth this November on the birthday of my own eldest child.  What a wonderful coincidence that was to discover!

As I prayed for her during her first days as a new mom, I was reminded of when I was there 14 years ago. All babies are wonderful, but there is something magical about the first...the baby who makes you a mom. It has been so sweet to revisit those days of the wonderful and strange sense of peace a new baby brings to a household, to remember those frustrated tears of uncertainty, and realize how far God has brought us from those early days.

Percolating Petals, I prayed for you all throughout the day...mostly in short bursts of "God please watch over her and her husband and give them the wisdom and grace they will need today."  but also in my noon Angelus (when I remembered to do it...somehow that hour passes without my notice on too many days.  You gave me a reason to try..so thank you.) 

I have loved looking at the sweet baby picture on your blog, and just want to kiss her little cheeks and sniff that baby head!  I am so thrilled to have gotten to know you, and to now have gotten to add you to my "friend" list on facebook.  You will remain in my prayers, sweet lady.  God bless you and your whole family!

Merry Christmas!

the Mom

Merry Christmas!

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

(We're making a chocolate pudding cake for His birthday....I hope I have enough candles....)

Making God Laugh

There is an old saying that to make God laugh we have only to tell him our plans.  I keep forgetting that old thing and declaring what I will and will not do.  How He must chuckle in His amusement.

My heart has ached at the thought of our last Christmas with family.  I have mourned it, wrung my hands, shed a few tears, and then resolved to soak up every last moment with our loved ones close at hand.

"Move on." God whispered.

"No." I replied. "I love my life here and I don't want it to end. Let me linger a while longer."

"Let it go." He told me gently.

I shook my head and looked back over my shoulder at all that lay behind.  "I can not."

"I promise that it will be okay.  Walk away." He counseled.

"Please don't make me." I begged.

"Trust me. Leave it all."  My Lord implored.

"I don't know how."  I cried.

"Let me help you." He offered and I did.

**********************************************************

On Sunday night,  the kids and I were hit with a stomach virus.  Violent yet swift-moving illness swept through our household.  My husband left town for a business trip and I washed laundry, mopped floors and scrubbed the house.  When they began to recover on Tuesday, I began to hope that they would be recovered enough for us to join family on Christmas Eve.  The hope began to glimmer inside of me. "Please, oh please let them be well enough." I silently begged.

No sooner had I begun to hope than the flu arrived in full force.  Wednesday morning I looked at the sick children lying on the couch in blanket covered lumps and I knew it was over.  It would be just us for Christmas.

I mopped their brows, passed out medicine and began to pack the kitchen.  A quiet voice inside me told me it was time and at last I listened.  As my babies napped, I packed my way through the kitchen and the master bath.  Thursday came and I moved on to the living and dining rooms.  Pack, sort, clean, paint, stage.

Thursday afternoon and into Friday relatives began dropping gifts on our porch, ringing the bell and leaving.  We have the plague and they want no part of it. A precursor of next year when presents will arrive via the mailman, who, like our family, will leave our packages on the porch and walk away.

Today I asked the children what they wanted for Christmas dinner.  I have the turkey defrosting already.  They can pick the side dishes.  This isn't Thanksgiving, I reminded them, there are no traditional dishes.  They looked at me as if a crazy woman were standing before them.  Silence.

At last the 11 year old said, "Can we have yellow potatoes?  The cheese kind from the box?"  Really?  I asked.  He nodded.

"Okay." I told him.

His siblings were surprised at my agreement and one by one they ventured a hopeful suggestion...French fries? Cauliflower? Home-made egg noodles?  Salad with ranch dressing.

As I nodded my assent to each one, they became bolder and a little wilder with their requests.  I finally limited them to 2 choices a piece.  They were thrilled and I saw a new tradition began to take hold.  A tradition we can carry with us.  The do-it-ourselves Christmas menu....and we continue to step forward one little bit at a time.

Christmas Gifts

We've received a few early Christmas gifts at our house, and with every box we open I begin to have serious doubts about the people we love.  What are they giving us?  What messages of love are they trying to send? Well...hold onto your hats, because at The Mom's house we've gotten:

1.  laser hair removal -  "I love you enough to want to set parts of you on fire."
2.  6 lbs of bacon  - "What better way to celebrate the birth of a Jewish boy than with pork?"
3.  lye soap  -  "That perfumey stuff just ain't cutting the funk."
4. a key on a bottle opener key chain - just a random key we're not sure what it unlocks - "I didn't know what to get you, so here's a key from my junk drawer.  I thought you might get thirsty trying to figure out what it goes to, so here's a bottle opener to go with it."
5. 2 boxes of ammunition - "Merry Christmas.  Now go kill something."
6. a pair of men's dress socks -  no clue here ....... LarryD?
7. one dessert plate - just the one - "I thought it was cute and couldn't afford the whole set.  If the rest of you want pie you'll have to share."
8. a gift card to the thrift store - Really?  do I dress that badly? - "Yes, you do."  - Well, I appreciate your honesty.
9. a bedazzled eyelash curler and tweezer set - "Maybe if your personal grooming stuff was pretty...you'd actually use it..."
10. a flower made out of leather - there's no explanation for this one - it's a flower....made out of leather...can we move on?


We love our friends and family because they're ours and also because they amuse us so much.  Who else do you know that gets this kind of loot the week before Christmas?  I'm kind of hoping it's a lead up to the awesomeness that awaits us on Christmas morning.....

Something to Say

#6 is 16 months old, and until last week his entire vocabulary consisted of one word, "mama."  When he first piped up and said my name, I was thrilled.  Most kids say their dad's name first.  That's okay because it's easier to say, but I was delighted that this child asked for me by name.

Until I realized that everything was "mama"...the dog, his father, the TV...

For 7 months this has been his only word.  I was beginning to worry that this one might not be so bright in that looking-for-trouble way that moms do,  His Oma laughed at me and said, "Leave the boy alone.  His life is too good.  What does he have to talk about?  When he has something to say then he will.  Until then, be patient."

Life must be pretty good for the youngest in our family, because he has had nothing to say.  He smiles at our goofy attempts to get him to speak.  Our repetitions make him laugh and pat our cheeks.

Earlier this week, his dad was changing his diaper and used an ice cold wipe on his little behind. (They got left in the car and were pretty chilly.)  #6 yelped at the shock of cold, looked his father in the eye and declared, "I don't like it.  I don't want it."  just as clear as you please.

Little snot.  All this time we were working on one syllable words and he was figuring out whole sentences.  He still is a man of few words.  He only trots them out when something is wrong and says thank you when we fix it.  That's my boy.  Happy until things go wrong and then he makes sure the right person knows about it.

I guess this apple has fallen pretty close to the tree after all.

Ummmmm.....Thanks......I think

Yesterday afternoon, I went to get my eyebrows threaded.  The woman who does them said to me, "You have a very nice arch.  It's sexy...like a villain."

The Part You Can't Buy

I spent this morning de-personalizing our house.  It goes on the market in a couple of weeks, and the things which make it our house are the things which will slow down a sale.  The Crucifixes in every room have been reduced to the one over the front door.  The wedding photos and baby pictures have been wrapped and put into boxes.  It's no longer looks like our house, but like anyone's house.

The younger children have been following me from room-to-room and watching with anxious eyes as the things they know so well are boxed away.  They're getting nervous about what all this change will mean for them.  I keep hugging and reassuring them, but they don't like change any more than their father does.

When I sat down this afternoon to look at home listings in Dallas, my little shadows crept up and began peering over my shoulder.  They don't like the idea of leaving, but the idea of arriving is exciting.

"How will you know?" my 6 year old asked.  "How will you know which one is our home?"

I smiled at her worried frown.  A childhood as a constantly moving Navy brat taught me a lot about moving.  "It doesn't really matter which one we pick." I told her. "Whichever one it is will be home. You can't buy home.  That's the part you bring with you."

The Skeptic

My 6 year old is a complete skeptic.  She looks at the world with a surprising amount of cynicism for someone so small .  I took her to the mall on Saturday and we walked past Santa on his big chair talking to all of the little children.  She raised a quizzical eyebrow and looked at me.

"I don't think that's really him," she told me.  "I think that's just a nice old man in a suit.  It's pretty cool of him to come and hang out at the mall so the parents can get cute pictures, but c'mon...really?  Don't you think Santa Claus has better things to do two weeks before Christmas than to listen babies cry and pull his beard and letting that kid with this snot nose use him for tissue?  I mean...he's a saint.  Would you want to spend the rest of forever in the mall as a napkin? What kind of Heaven is that? "




I'm afraid to admit that she scares me a little bit with her logic.  Please God may I always have the wisdom to stay a step ahead of that quick little mind.

Christmas Card

I spent a good part of this evening addressing Christmas cards to send to family and friends.  I would send one to you, but I don't have your address.  I kind of felt bad about that, and was going to ask for it.....but I have 95 followers and only 6 more cards.

This will have to do.  It's my video Christmas card from me to you!

Merry Chrimasis Everybody!

Changing Tradition

I moved to Oklahoma when I was 19 years old.  I had never been here before, but my boyfriend (who later became a Computer Guy) assured me that it was a beautiful place and I would love it.   He was right.  I quickly fell in love, but not with the state.  I fell in love with his family.

His relatives were a fairy-tale come true for a girl whose own family was far from ideal.  They were close knit, kind, and welcoming.  I'll never forget that first Christmas with them which looked as if a Hallmark card had come to life..  I couldn't wait to be a part of this family...long before he had even proposed.

I can't believe it's almost over.  For 17 years, I have been privileged to spend Christmas Eve with his family.  Everyone brings the same dish every year.  They reminisce about the same stories.  They are blessed with the normality which they all take for granted.  Even the years I didn't want to go, I wanted to be there.

This is our last Christmas in Oklahoma surrounded by family.  Next year, we will be in Dallas. The reality of it is that we will not be traveling at Christmas with 6 children.  The traveling is bad enough, but none of his relatives have enough room for us all.  It's our last Okie Christmas.

  It will just be the eight of us at Mass, at dinner, and around the tree.   I once dreamed of a quiet holiday.  Now the thought of it just makes me sad and all the more determined to soak up this one last year.

I've been cooking like a crazy woman for the last few days.   I've been working so hard to create a "perfect" Christmas. (Even though I know that such a thing doesn't exist.)  I've been trying to create traditions all at once with my children so that we have something to carry us through the holidays next year.  I've been trying to create something to fill the hole which will be there when we leave his family behind.

Change is scary and often unwelcome, but it can be beneficial, too.  Instead of relying on aunts, grandmas and cousins, we're learning to rely on ourselves.  It's the final bit of growing up.   Who knew adulthood was wrapped in tinsel, lights, and peanut brittle?

Next year, the traditions are ours....whatever we want them to be.

Letters to Santa Claus

We have an Oma who has introduced my children to the tradition of St Nicholas's Day.  Every year on December 5th they carefully write their letters and tuck them into their shoes.  Then they cross their fingers and hope.  They know that this is the last warning bad children get before Christmas.  St Nick takes their letters and good children get chocolate....bad children get rocks.

I look forward to reading these letters every year.  (I have 9 years' worth of letters tucked away in a box in my room.)  It's fun to look back at the things that they dreamed of when they were small and compare those simple letters with the funny notes they leave as they get older.  Here's what #1 wrote the old guy:

Dear Mr Claus,

I regret to inform you that I can not say that I have not set anything on fire or blown anything up.  Fortunately, no one was hurt when these things took place.

Instead of boring you with tales of the good deeds I have done, I'll skip right to the point.  

I would like an itunes gift card and a Daisy Exchange gift card, but you know that already.  I would also like a colorful, interesting assortment of accessories from Icing.  I've heard that Assassin's Creed 2 is good, and that it comes for the Wii, so I would like that.  If there is a Call of Duty for the Wii, I would like it as well.

If you could get (#2) a nintendo gamecube controller for the Wii, along with the Zelda game he NEVER shuts up about, that would be wonderful.  What we really need is an XBox, but I have a feeling that it's not happening anytime soon. So instead, I'd like interestingly colored duct tape (the Duck tape brand), a knife, a Nerf gun, and some chocolate.

I hope that was helpful, because I despise writing letters of any sort.  Which is my way of saying "I'm done now."

DON'T FORGET TO GO BUY CANDY....and some more oranges.........please?

- The Eldest and most perfect Frech child.

You guessed it.....she's getting rocks.

Bah Humbug

I needed this.  Not feeling the Christmas spirit?  You need the Christmas Can-Can as I do.

Making Ready

I am struggling to get into the mood of Christmas this year.  The joyous anticipation of the past is not anywhere I can find it.  Instead of giddily dragging boxes of decorations from my garage, I keep looking at the boxes on their shelves and feeling indifference.  Our usual Advent activities just seem burdensome.

The fight with the school for #3 may be over for now, but it has worn me out and stolen my enthusiasm.  Add medical issues for 2 other members of the family, and I just want to forget that Christmas is coming at all.  Even the prospect of buying cute shoes for the office Christmas party doesn't thrill me.  That's how I know that this malaise is serious.  We're talking indifference to shoes here, people.

I wrote the other day about not all pregnancies being met with instant joy.  That's how this Christmas is feeling to me.  There's a baby on the way bringing with Him joy and wonder, but all I can feel is the burden and responsibility of it all.  Lucky for me, I've been here before.  I know that there is power in preparation.  Decorating the nursery changes things.  Putting up a tree and hanging stockings changes them, too.

There is a baby coming for all of us.  His impending arrival has reached the point where it can no longer be denied.  It is imminent.  If he were my son, I'd be washing his clothes, prepping his cradle, and making plans for bringing him home.  He's God's son, but the preparations must go on just the same.  We must make ready for Him by cleansing ourselves (Confession), and preparing our hearts to receive Him.  We need to plan and prepare for Him to enter into our lives and our homes.

There is a baby coming.  Soon.  Please, God, help us to be ready to make Him welcome.