We made an emergency room run this morning, #3 and I. He has a stomach ache which has lasted 24 hours and has not gotten better. In a regular kid, I'd put him to bed and bring him toast and chicken soup. He's not a regular kid. He eats things that aren't food. Stomach aches are serious business, because not food stuff in your intestine could kill you.
When we got to the hospital, the waiting room had only one person sitting in the chairs. She obviously had to flu, so I sat him as far from her as possible. When I filled out the "What's wrong with you?" form, I wrote "belly pain with a history of ingesting non-food items." That should be clear.
It must not be. The male 30-something nurse who took us back for triage said "What do you mean by non-food items. What does he eat?"
I smiled in that don't-judge-me-I'm-really-a-good-mom way, sighed and said, "In the past he's eaten rocks, sticks, Legos, Barbie shoes, ball bearings..you name it."
His eyes lit up and he leaned a little closer to me. As my 9 year old sat next to me, the nurse said. "Have you seen that show Addicts? It's all about how people get addicted to eating weird stuff."
I silently pleaded with him to shut up and explained that we don't have cable.
"Oh...that's too bad. There was this guy last night who was really messed up. He ate his sofa cushions. What a freak." He said in front of my son who once chewed the leather upholstery off a chair. "Those people are crazy. They'll eat anything. Nut jobs."
My son turned a worried gaze in my direction as I patted his hand. "It'll be okay." I told him. "I love you."
We left the emergency room this morning without seeing anyone. His stomach was feeling a bit better after we sat for 3 hours in the waiting room chairs. (I would think a possible perforation would be an emergency....It seems that I'm wrong.) He's in bed sipping broth and I'm writing an angry letter to the Director of Nursing. #3 may not have learned a lot in school last semester, but by golly I've learned to write a letter. (I just wish I had the nerve to say it to the jerk's face.)
I am mystified by people. I get that what my son does is strange and that the medical staff will talk about it.It's interesting to people, especially those in the medical profession. Heck, I would talk about it if he weren't my beloved child. I would just hope that I would have the sense to not discuss it in front of him, to remember that he is a human being, and to see the impact I was having on the person with those big scared eyes.
***Edited to add: I read this to my son who nodded his head and said, "Yeah, Mom, that guy was a jerk....but can you tell the blog people that I don't chew stuff any more? I go to vision therapy. I don't eat things now."
So, blog people, #3 no longer eats non-food things. He just has a crazy mother who can't let go of the past. :)
22 comments:
Grrrrrrrrrr! I'm sorry. How frustrating! Certainly write a letter - a strongly worded letter.
Hugs to both of you. Hope #3's tummy feels better soon.
Oh my gosh! Jerk with a capital J! How's that for a letter? I could come up with others...so sorry:(
I'd be writing a letter to the president of the hospital. This is totally NOT acceptable.
I really want to use some profanity right now. But I'll settle for "what a jerk!" instead! Where do they find these people!!!
I am really sorry you had to experience that. It makes me sick. I -as the mom- would've been in tears. You are a strong woman.
Perhaps if this emergency room attendant were forced to wear an empathy belly each time he had to service a child... he would handle it better. What do you think?
Unbelievable!
I don't think I've ever commented before, but I've been reading for a long time. I just can't keep my mouth shut this time! This makes me SO FREAKING ANGRY. I'm honestly not sure I would have been able to keep my temper with this nurse. You're a much better person than I am!
YIKES! Why would he say that???? Poor #3. :( Good for you for writing the letter!
Totally unacceptable!!!!!!!!!
If he were a random stranger, that would just be unkind and rude. But he works AT A HOSPITAL. What does he say to heart attack patients - "you wouldn't believe these fat people keep eating French fries"? Gunshot victims? Seriously. He is in the wrong profession.
Wow. That is RIDICULOUS and unacceptable!!! I would be so ticked too!
That guy was so clueless. I would hope he only did it b/c it was so far from how he thought of your child, thinking children eat things etc, but it was obvious he had no clue that your child is old enough to understand him. Not to mention not deaf. Geez. Glad you are taking the time to write the letter. Educate that man! And an ER that makes you wait that long?! oh my goodness!
UNBELIEVABLE!! Now I know why you have a blog, you HAVE to get this stuff off your chest or your head will explode. I can't believe the stuff that happens in your life. How did you not tell that nurse off right in front of your son? -Loretta
OH MY GOSH! HELLO!!!! Common sense people!!! Proves that common sense isn't quite so common...
That guy is so oblivious. I usually can't believe the things people say.
You're son sounds so sweet.
Ok the update is adorable!! :) what a cutie!
Love the update :) He does sound so sweet! I'm glad he's doing better now, although I most certainly wouldn't have judged him or thought he was "weird" or anything if he still struggled with that. :)
I am wondering based upon #3's comment if some, not all, of #3's eating of non-food stuff was because he could not always tell by looking what was food and what was not. If you can not trust you eyes, it might be reasonable to put stuff in your mouth to really be able to explore and understand it. Taste substituting for sight. Something more to talk to the vision therapist about. Give #3 a big hug for being so good about his mom being over-careful.
My daughter has had a similar problem in the past. She doesn't eat anything but has very visible and at times severe ecsema caused mostly by allergies. She has lived most of her life with people asking her if she's gone to a doctor--Yes, many! Is it contagious--No! Does it hurt?--at times. Does she want to be asked about it one more time?--no! Asking me, in front of her, those and other questions like, have you tried this lotion? Have you tried this medication? Have you had her bathe regularly? Have you stopped her from bathing too frequently? Can't you stop her from scratching? On and on. The answer to all is--I have tried literally everything I could think of and many, many things others have thought of. Please stop asking, at least in front of her. It does still make her feel bad.
Once at a fast food restaurant, she scratched one of her knees until it was raw meat and bleeding everywhere. My husband was out of town and I had to pack all five kids up, pack up the food everyone started to eat, and try to stop the bleeding long enough to get home and bandage it properly so it didn't get infected. One elderly gentleman walked up to my daughter and handed her a five dollar bill. Huh? My 6 yo daughter was a little freaked out and didn't understand the jesture, frankly, neither did I. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt--that he didn't know how to help and needed to something.
Anyway it is late and I'm rambling. All that to say I understand what you mean. Some adults act as if children have no feelind, emotionally or physically. Yes, you can hurt their feelings by saying thoughtless things about them as if they weren't there. Yes, they feel pain!
My apologies, God Bless.
I think you ought to publish the name and address of the hospital so we can all unleash on them. :)
Sharon
PS I have lots of nurses in my family. They went nuts when I told them this story.
How about a letter to the editor of your local newspaper? On second thought, that might get you in trouble. By now, I do hope #3 is feeling much better.
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