Ever since we announced this pregnancy, I've received a lot of sympathy over morning sickness, weird cravings, and extreme fatigue. I just try to smile and accept their commiserations, but they don't know the worst part of being pregnant. I miss my brain. (Pregnancy isn't all bad. Kicking babies are glorious. The first trimester, however, is my own personal hell.)
For six glorious weeks, I was on my ADHD medication. I felt and thought like a new woman. For six weeks I never lost my keys or misplaced my purse. I could explain things and tell stories without having to double back and explain things I missed the first time through. I came up with words without having to search my memory for them. I put names with faces effortlessly. I successfully fought off impulse purchases (because impulsiveness is a part of ADHD.) I lived and thought like a normal person.
Then came the morning where I saw that positive pregnancy result and I had to put the medicine aside for the health and well-being of #7. It's been 4 weeks and I miss it terribly.
This morning I lost 20 minutes searching for keys. I got to the grocery store only to realize that my coupon book was at home on the kitchen counter. (Where I put it so that I wouldn't forget it.) I didn't get 3 things on my list, but managed to bring home 4 things that weren't on it.
For six weeks out of my life, I knew what my plans were for the whole day without having to check the calendar once. I just knew what needed to be done and when. I KNEW IT!!! Today, I've looked at the calendar at least 8 times and am terrified that I will forget that my eldest is going to her best friend's house or that the kids' Opa is coming over this afternoon. I have to check it because I keep forgetting what's on it and second guessing the time. I went out with a friend last week and started to tell her a story, when I had to abruptly stop because I couldn't find the word I needed and wasn't far enough into the story for her to help me.
This used to be normal for me. It was so normal that I didn't even know it was there. My life just worked somehow in a whirl of confusion. Except it never worked all that well. Now it is confusing and overwhelming and I just want my brain back.
I'm so glad to be having a #7, but the thought of seven more months of this plus a year of nursing before I can think again.....I don't even want to think about it...luckily for me I'll be on to something new in a few moments. :0)
People have been so interested to know what it is to be on ADHD medication. It was clarity.....and now you also know what it's like to have to give it up.
8 comments:
I'm so sorry, I didn't even think of that. :(
Are you 100% sure that you can't take it while nursing?
I don't remember what you were on but this is Hale's page on CNS stimulants.
http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/discus/messages/74/74.html?1282657560
It has been shown to pass into breast milk, so it's a no go
My husband has ADD and also struggles with IBS symptoms. I recently changed our eating patterns to grain-free in case gluten was causing IBS. He has felt great IBS-wise, but I have also noticed a change regarding his ADD symptoms. I don't know how much research there may be regarding grains/sugar and ADD/ADHD, but you might want to consider a trial grain-free couple of weeks to see if it helps. Marksdailyapple.com and wellnessmama.com have been great resources for me. I am nursing my second baby and have noticed that my milk supply is more steady throughout the dayand I have more energy too. I think grain- and sugar-free may help with morning sickness too! I somehow found both of those sites through conversion diary, so you might want to ask Jen if you have questions! I hope this can help you! Good luck!
I wondered about this after you announced your pregnancy. So sorry, but at least you know there's relief somewhere down the road. And you can tease perfect #7 about this someday. :-)
Word verification: blessent
Ohhh that is a shame. I will say an extra prayer to St. Gianna today for you, since she was a doctor and mother! :)
I feel for you... I'm sure I have ADHD (self-diagnosed...) and absolutely hate the fog that comes with it. I forget everything and having a baby this past year has been taxing on my already tired brain. At 11 months, we're close to the end of nursing and hopefully I'll get some memory/brain back, but I might need to check w/ a doctor. Congratulations on #7 and I hope the next 7 months go more smoothly for you.
I really don't want to give advice...but I just can't stop myself (it must be the mom in me). Anyway, I take purified fish oil, the omega 3s are shown to help with mental clarity (some studies say they are just as good as drugs), also you may want to have your thyroid checked, low thyroid can cause mental fog, and you even get hyper activity before the thyroid starts getting sluggish. None of this will help as much as your meds, but it might take the edge off. There, I got that off my chest, I feel so much better! -Loretta
I wondered how you were doing with this and meant to ask you about it when I called the other day but forgot- guess I may need my dosage increased again...
I'm sorry. It really was one of the hardest things about being pregnant for me... knowing I had the ability to be together but just couldn't.
I love you.
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