Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Answers (for Karyn and Lena)

Lena asked when there would be a new blog header.   The answer is now.   I have an idea in my mind, but haven't gotten it done yet.  This one will be up until I do, if it ever happens.

Let's start with Karyn's easy peasy ones:
And a more mundane question - I have been veiling at church. But when am I suppose to put the veil on and when do I take off? Like...do I only wear it in the sanctuary and take it right off as I leave? Is it okay to put it on and off in the van? I don't know anyone else who veils in order to ask. I know this has already been answered in the comments on another post, but I'll answer it, too.  I don't think there are any hard and fast rules.  My grandmother put hers on in the car so that she could get it perfect with the aid of a mirror.  I put mine on just before I enter the nave of the church. (Mostly because chasing my sons will cause it to fly right off of my head.) You are supposed to wear it the entire time you are in the presence of the Tabernacle.  That's Jesus in there! so we cover our heads in respect. Mine also comes off almost as soon as I leave the church itself.  I have to chase those boys again and I don't want it in the dirt.

Okay, last question - who is your patron (or favorite) saint? I see the three on the side here but I don't know if they're for specific causes (such as St. Aphonsus for your daughter) - but do you have a "go-to" saint?  My go to girl is St Rita of Cascia.  She's the patroness of impossible causes.  I love her, and she's helped to pray me out of many a tight spot.
St Catherine of Alexandria is my Confirmation saint.  She's a girl who was known for having a big mouth and talking herself into all kinds of trouble. :) Whenever I need to have a serious discussion with someone or stand up in front of a crowd for a talk, she's the girl I'm asking for help. I figure she knows what to ask for.
St Michael is there because I pray his prayer and ask for his intercession whenever I find myself in the midst of spiritual warfare or when I'm really afraid.  That's when an Angel with a sword is handy to have around


Woohoo, that was fun! Wish I had some "real life" Catholic moms around me to ask questions like that!It was fun!  Please ask anytime you want to know something (and this goes for anyone else, too.)




Now for the hard one:


Well...okay. I'm a more recent convert but I'm finding that I'm becoming more and more of a traditional Catholic, despite my RCIA training, lol. Anyway, what are some of the church teachings you struggle with the most? Maybe you obey them because they are the Church's teachings but you don't fully understand the reason for them and/or the teachings just go against your nature.
Let me start off by welcoming you to the Church!  My husband is a convert or 5 years and I see him becoming more traditional as well. I think it's normal to fall in love and be drawn ever closer.

It's no secret around here that the one I struggle the most with is the ban on contraception.  I understand banning those which are aboritfacients, but oh how I wish the others weren't there.  I don't want any more children.  As the mom of 7 I feel as if I am at my limit in terms of resources, time, patience, attention, etc.  I have pretty severe ADD and being unmedicated is a trial.  Knowing that a new baby means I'm on my own for the 9 months of pregnancy plus however long I'm nursing is not something I ever want to think about. Which makes the idea of a new baby exhausting to me.  Add onto that that my husband really doesn't want more and it is truly a struggle for both of us.  I recognize that most of my reasons for not wanting a #8 are selfish, but I often wonder if that's always a bad thing. 

We would joyfully welcome another baby just as we have all of our unplanned children, but it would be the struggle it always is in the beginning to find the joy and not the weariness.  God has already shown us many times that nothing we do to prevent them will stop what is His will.  When we began studying the Church's teachings, we recognized the wisdom and love of the ban on contraception.  I just wish it wasn't.  I wish I didn't agree with the Church, because it's a daily struggle against myself to follow her teachings.

Which is probably why it is good for me.  It reminds the control freak in me that I'm not in charge....ever.  It tells the selfish part of me to pipe down, and pushes me to grow to a better person ever closer to God.  That said, there are days when I wonder how long the sentence is in Purgatory for getting those tubes tied. 


(Not that I will....don't start lecturing me.)

17 comments:

Michelle Hughes said...

I really enjoyed reading these questions and answers. Especially the last one - I find that very interesting.

I'm currently in this weird state where I think about what might happen if God sent us another baby (ugh...new family vehicle would have to happen and we haven't had a car payment in 3 years) but I can't seem to be all that worried about it and I wonder what is wrong with me.

Anyway, I need your perspective on that teaching...keeps me grounded.

Sew said...

What makes you think you would go to purgatory? LOL

I

Rebecca Frech said...

Wishful thinking.

Blue Henn said...

Thanks for all your honesty. It is refreshing to hear other people talking about what they struggle with, especially if such struggles revolve around what could be considered "hot-button" issues. Too often, it seem, people hide their struggles, afraid to stand out of the crowd and feel as though they will be condemned for admitting their faults, leaving our Catholic community seeming as though it is cold and unwelcoming. I think oftentimes it is the discussing of the nitty-gritty dirt that opens communication and hearts easier than talking about the butterflies and rainbows all the time.

Sew said...

And in all honesty you know you couldn't scrog your fine husband with a condom on!!! Lol

But I understand as i lay on the couch thinking how will I be able to do this....only kid #2! Lol

JoAnna said...

For what it's worth, I don't think your reasons for avoiding pregnancy are selfish at all. Given your admitted track record with contraception, I don't think it'd be all that effective for you anyway. :)

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

I have to agree with JoAnna, ha ha!

And, for the sake of the teacher in me (building on Sew's comment), the penalty for sterilization, done with full knowledge and consent of the will, is H - e - double toothpicks, not Purgatory. Just throwing it out there in case any reader is getting any ideas! ;)

Sew said...

I deserve a bubble award! LOL

Angela said...

This was great! I've been a lurker for a while (I came over here via Leila) and I had to comment. That last question really struck a cord with me. I have 3 children, I'm divorced and I became a confirmed catholic the same day I moved the last of my belongings out of my old house. I also had my tubes tied 8 years ago (and now I really REALLY wish I hadn't). I could write a book on all things I know now and wish I had known then. I've also learned more about the Church's teachings on sex and marriage and believe (know) that it is right to live those teachings, so I am a celibate divorced woman with 3 kids.

I said all that to say this, there are a lot of people who don't believe I should have an opinion on those things. Because I'm not dating, I'm not allowed to say out loud that sex is for marriage. Because I'm broken (I used to say fixed, but now i know better) I'm not allowed to be anti-contraception. We all struggle, and if we don't we're lying.

I chalk my newly formed conscience up to Jesus and the Holy Spirit and applaud you for admitting you struggle with following teachings. It is a brave thing to admit. I guess I'm rambling to say, sometimes it's hard to convince people that you are following those same teachings despite physical evidence that it really doesn't matter if you follow them or not, no one can see your heart. Sorry for going off topic. Great post! Thanks for writing it!!

may b said...

my very e free background has a hard time going to church EVERY sunday. no exceptions.

ERB said...

Thank you, Angela for your comment. My husband and I are married w/3 children and sterilized. The more I seek Christ and connect more fully with his Church, the more I regret not seeking Him earlier and understanding why the Church has these beliefs; I would have a hugely different family had I awakened sooner. Praise be to God that He allows us to convert and heal through reconciliation. Please pray for my husband because he doesn't see his sterilization as sinful.

karyn said...

Thanks for answering the questions - I loved reading this post! I, too, struggle with the NFP teachings. Especially since I've been told that anything aside from abortion is okay?!?!

Not to get you sidetracked from your own ideas for post, but I would also love to hear your thoughts one day about the Church's teachings about women. I don't struggle with it in my personal life, as my husband and I fortunately agree about most things and he's not a domineering person at all. And I understand that the family, as a "person", can only have one head. But the whole "wives, submit to your husbands" thing makes me feel like the less favored child - though I can't believe God would feel that way. But neither can I ignore Paul's writings.

By the way, I love that little guy's face there on the header!

Lena said...

I've never been in the title of anyone's post. I like the new header as six of your children gaze at your pet elephants. So cute with the little guy facing the camera. Wasn't he the same one facing the camera in your previous header.

Thanks for being so open.

VALERIE KERMIN said...

Absolutely right, I do agree with your post. By the way I am a member of Baptist Church at Sacramento. Our church use church calendar software designed by Congregation Builder, It is really good software to use. It gives us Camp Management, Church Web Calendar & Event Registration.

Tracy C. said...

I have seven kids too, but when i see your header up there I think "whoa that's a lot of kids" But, usually, when we're all together as a family it doesn't seem that way at all!

pam said...

Karyn dosen't the rest of that teaching also say: Husbands love your wives as Christ also loved the church...So also ought men love their wives as their own bodies. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherishethit as Christ doth the church. It has always been a loving, kind sort of teaching to me-wife obey the husband and husband will love & cherish the wife, a mutual loving!

Lisa Ann Homic, M.Ed. D.C. said...

My biological clock is ticking fast, sigh. But it's up to God. I have one beautiful child and want to share my love with one more. Keep in mind, contraception really comes between the husband and wife. I had the contraception mindset during my first marriage (no kids came from it). I let a lot of years go by and here I am today wondering if my son will be an only child. I accept God's blessings but still have that coveting nature.