She is 7 months old this week, and still not sleeping through the night. Whenever I say this out loud to other mothers, they shake their heads and commiserate with me over how horrible it is to be sleep deprived and why won't those silly babies just sleep?
I nod along in agreement, and accept their condolences....but I secretly love it. I love the 3 A.M.waking. It is in the quiet darkness of my bed, with my beloved husband sleeping beside me, that I get to bask in the sweetness of being her mom.
My little one pats my cheek and lets her baby hands meander their way across my cheek. I whisper her name and she croons love songs back to me. We quietly giggle at each other as I ruffle the downy baby fuzz of her hair.
It is in the late night darkness that I get to stroke the smoothness of her cheek and admire her plump little feet. There is no one else demanding my attention, no chores to be done. There are only the night time sounds of crickets and sprinklers outside, and the sleeping sighs of my husband nearby. For this one hour of my day, there is calm and rest. I have nothing to do except mother my sweet girl.
She presses her body next to mine, hungrily eating. As she does, I marvel over the size of her, and remember how small she was not so very long ago. Her snuffly snorts are the music of my late night waking. Her babbling soliloquy is my night time serenade.
The night will come when we do not wake until morning. Her growing body will at last be able to make it through the night. That night our evening engagements will come to an end.
Not yet, please, not yet.
Let her fingers skitter up my arm tonight. Let her plant her slobbery kisses on my chin. Let her tell me the wonders she has seen today in her own peculiar prattle.
Just one more night. Please, one more night, let me have my 3 A.M.
13 comments:
Beautiful. Thank you for reminding me of the sweetness of those hours in the night.
Yep, I'm with you. Although I'd be ok with it if she didn't wake up *quite* as often, I don't mind the wake ups. It's my only alone time with the baby!
And oh my goodness, but the snorting and snuffling noises while she eats... too cute.
Love!!
I'll try to remember this post when I'm up with baby tonight - because I'm way too sleepy and grumpy to enjoy the time very much. Thanks for a better perspective.
I think these feelings come more deeply the more babies we have.
My Grandmother had ten and she said she loved and enjoyed night feedings for this very reason. Thank you for this post, it made me cry. And P.S. my two year old still doesn't always sleep through the night!
You all are crazy!! LOL
My second daughter was born she went through a period of waking up for two to three hours in the middle of the night, which wasn't too much of a problem because my oldest would sleep for 12 hours straight and I could still get 8 or 9 hours of sleep at night.
But I am the kind of person who NEEDS sleep or I become slightly depressed and barely functional. Even when I don't have a nursing baby, I often don't get as much sleep as I need. So, I really hope that when #5 arrives I hope she is content to wake up, eat, and go back to sleep instantly.
People keep asking me the same thing. Leo is 11 weeks old. Heck no he doesn't sleep through the night. He usually wakes twice between 11 and 6 and I am fine with that. First, like you said in a busy crazy house those middle of the night.feeds are often the only time I can just be the mom of a sweet baby. He isn't the 'also ran' sitting in the sling or being held by sibs while I change a stinky or make dinner. In the middle of the night I am the mom of one for a little while. Secondly, I have had multiple children who woke every 90 minutes until they weaned. Twice a night cosleeper is luxurious by comparison.
Yes, it is me. I am having issues with my Google acct
So sweet! I remember feeling that way....some of the time.
This is such a sweet post! It brings me back to those early years with my three and how I yearn for more.
I too remember feeling that way, although I was relieved when they slept all night as I was seriously sleep-deprived. The first night my oldest went through the night, I woke up on schedule for the 2 AM feed, and I just kept checking the crib to make sure she was still OK and alive!
I love this. My youngest is 3. Due to health issues I don't know if I will be blessed with another or not, we'll see. But I long for those days and nights too! Beautifully written.
My baby is 9 days short of 9 months old, and if yours is like mine, you have a couple of months to look forward to.
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