I spent several days last week with my husband's high school teacher cousin and her husband who works for the teachers' union in California. To say they are Liberal would be to undersell their political stances in the same way that calling me a Conservative wouldn't begin to cover it. As they are nice people, it was an enjoyable weekend of back-and-forth political banter. They support the President. We don't. We both knew that going in which made any mention of politics more play than work. Neither one was going to be persuaded which made it about the intellectual exercise.
No one offered any new arguments to me until we began to discuss education. They seemed very interested in our decision to homeschool, the book I'm writing about it, and the children we're raising. They both conceded that we appear to be succeeding in raising and educating children who are both well-informed and socially normal. It was then that she shook her head slightly and stated, "I think you're doing a great job at it and you obviously have a love and a passion for teaching, which is what makes it even more selfish. Not only are you keeping money out of the schools by not putting your children in them, depriving other children of the resources which could be purchased with that money, but you're depriving those children of the opportunity to have you as a teacher."
Selfish.
It's not a new argument, to be sure. I've been told many times that public schools are funded on a per-capita basis which means that our homeschooling keeps funds out of the public schools. Our local school district would receive around $11,000 for each of my children per year, so by teaching them at home, I'm keeping $77,000 out of the local budget. That money could be spent on computers, library books, or teacher salaries...or so the story goes. In reality, I've never seen a government bureaucracy spend money that efficiently and I suspect that that $77,000 would not make much of a difference at all.
What is new to me is the idea that my teaching of my own children deprives other children of my brilliance. The social obligation which she assumed I should feel is based in her deep belief in the notion of Collectivism, the idea that what we are and what we can do somehow belongs as much to each other as it does to ourselves. It's a sort of communism of man. It is also an ideal which is central to Liberal ideology. It requires a moral and cultural conformity which are the antithesis of the American experiment.
In choosing to educate my children at home, I'm not making a selfish statement but an Individualist one. It is a decision which springs from my belief that the people in my household are my primary responsibility. It comes from the idea that God has entrusted these children to me to raise, and that while I must be concerned with the well-being of my fellow men it should not come at the expense of these children.
I have heard it argued that the Christian position should be a Collectivist one. It is the justification many Catholics make for voting for the Democrat Party. There is a beauty in the ideal of the Brotherhood of Man, and just enough truth in it to make it almost right. If only it didn't require the subjugation of the family or the ownership of the individual by the group, but it does. Their ideal would necessitate that I should turn away from the raising of my own children in favor of the need to educate the children of everyone else. My ability to teach would be owned... and not by me.
So is it a selfish decision that I made to homeschool? There may have been an element of that in my wanting to keep my babies at home and with me for as long as I possibly can. On the other hand, while it may not be true for all children, this is the best choice for educating ours. They are thriving and doing quite well as they learn at our kitchen table, much better than they would do elsewhere. Our brief foray into traditional schooling showed us that quite clearly. So for these children, the selfish thing would be to send them elsewhere, because giving my life over to teaching them is the task which God has given me to do.
16 comments:
When someone says you're being "selfish" in this way, it seems to me to mean that you're not seeking the greatest good for the greatest number according to their standards of what's good.
But in fact, there's a hierarchy of goods, and you have different duties to different people. It is selfish to put yourself before others. It is not selfish to put your family before others.
Very well said. I hope you send her the link. ;)
My jaw dropped when I read her line! Wow! I'm stunned, but your analysis is spot-on! Great post!
And I second Leila!
First of all it depends on where you live. In our state some towns are "getting" towns (as in they get more money in education taxes than they send to the state -- based on local income, not just the number of kids in the school) and other towns are "giving" towns (they send more money in than they get back). In a giving town you actually probably save your town money, by not having the kids in school, in a getting town, well it may only be a wash depending on how poor your town is. Our parish's school actually saves the taxpayers of the city over a million dollars a year, and I suspect that each homeschooling family saves them money as well.
Secondly, you wouldn't be the same kind of teacher in the school system. You couldn't individualize for your students the way you can now, and what you're doing for your own kids in the way of faith formation and connecting your faith to the curriculum could not happen in any government school. Hence you'd be a totally different sort of teacher, and probably not as good a one. I've taught in public school, I've taught in parochial school, and I've taught homeschool (both my own kids and co-op kids). I'm a far better teacher with homeschooled kids (my own and other people's) than I ever was in an institutional setting. In a homeschool setting (even co-op classes) discipline is less of an issue, and it's a lot easier to really engage with your students.
So are you being selfish? I certainly don't think so. You are training a bunch of kids to bring the light of faith into the world. That probably will make a bigger difference in the end than any work you could do in an institutional school. How is what you're doing more selfish than helicopter parents of public school kids who demand special attention and privileges for their kids, who cheat the system by getting their kids an ADD diagnosis right before they take their SAT's so they get more time, who pay mega money for SAT prep courses, etc.,etc., etc.who make sure that their kids have every advantage with after school classes, private tutors, etc.
Besides that money that comes to the school with every kid that's enrolled comes out of somebody's pocket. The money that educates your kids only comes from your own pocket, not your neighbor's. So who's really being selfish by expecting someone else to pay for their kid's education when they could afford to pay for it themselves?
we have a 2 year old and ive often wondered something similar, if we end up homeschooling is it selfish to "keep her all to ourselves"?.. maybe im just trying to justify the 2-3 days a week shes at daycare that shes blessing other people while shes there, but its been on my mind lately. thoughts?
I'd say the catholic is called to collectivism towards the family rather than society. You are sacrificing and giving of yourself for your immediate society. If you were being selfish you could kick back and eat bonbons all day i stead of giving of yourself for the good of your kids. So tell your cousin that you two do see eye to eye - just on a different scale.
One of my friends once told me it was "selfish" of me to have more than two children because there are many children needing to be cared for or adopted that my husband and I should sacrifice having more of our biological children to care for children who have no one to care for them. I didn't quite understand it...still don't. But this collectivist mindset is alive and well in many aspects of life.
Thank you for this. I've had similar discussions and thoughts. I see that our tax money goes toward the school system that we don't use! The school district is actually making out better. I agree with Liz. I've taught in a classroom and it is different that what I get to do at home. I don't need to teach to a test, I get to teach what my girls like and encourage learning in all areas of life.
Why is it only homeschooling, and not private or parochial schooling, that is always accused of keeping funds out of the public schools.
And why would the public schools need the per-capita funding for "capita" who are not there? Why would your school district need the $11,000 for each of your children if your children aren't there?
Why does nobody ever suggest a voucher system, where homeschoolers could get back some of the money that is taken from them in the form of property taxes that is given to the schools on a per-capita basis? Instead, homeschoolers pay their property taxes and the full costs of homeschooling.
People who complain about the schools losing per-capita funding are idiots.
I've heard comments, too, like are they getting "socialized?" or they getting a good education? But, I've never been told I'm selfish because I'm not a teacher outside the home. I've been told I should be a teacher--maybe the people that told me that just weren't to the collectivisation stage yet. I think you would be a brilliant teacher in a school, but you've got a great school with 7 students right now. That's the one that counts! God Bless!!
Great post!
Oh, I like that argument. I'm going to start using it. So many selfish people out there, pursuing careers I haven't approved, or taking on hobbies that divert their talents from the common good. It's just terrible.
Clearly, people should be required to use their gifts in the way I determine is best for the rest of us. I hereby give you permission to spend more time with the cousins, so that you might gather more bits of moral genius for our edification.
:)
I've been told similar things, presented in a compliment of how talented I am (lol). I was also told, by a then close friend, that I was greedy to have six children. As if there was a finite number of children to be born in my community and I took more than my share. WHat crazy times we live in. Up is down, down is up. btw- Love your blog! )
I'm sure these relatives do not consider themselves "judgmental" or self serving, yet there remarks reek of it. You should sacrifice your children and family on the alter of governemnt brainwashing. I homeschooled my kids on less than $500 a year...I know: how "selfish" of me to not want to tax my neighbors to pay for the "schools" to babysit my children (they are NOT being educated, they are indoctrinated into collectivism. God Bless you)
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