My oldest just turned 5 and I am on the fence about what we'll do in the fall. There are some very good reasons I can find to send him to Kindy, but I have this nagging dread about sending him off all day every day. But then I have so much doubt about my ability to do a good job homeschooling. And? Having some time to spend with his younger brother, and exercise, and have a "break", sounds amazing. I am having such a hard time with this decision. Total rant, but WHY can't Kindy be less rigorous than 8 hours/day 5 days/week? It just seems like a whole lot for a 5 year old to me. Anyway, then I think, well... I'll just stick my head in the sand about the whole thing and just homeschool for Kindy and reassess next year. Is that how it starts sometimes? Like, "I'll homeschool this year, but that's it" and then it turns out to be many more than 1 year?
Dear Anonymous,
Wow. There's a lot of different stuff going on in this, so I'm going to pick it apart and answer it a bit at a time.
This is the perfect time of year to begin thinking about whether or not you'll be homeschooling next Fall. You should have plenty of time for researching and soul-searching between now and September. Kudos to you for thinking so far in advance. (I wish I were this organized!)
There are many good reasons in favor of either decision, keeping him home or sending him off to school. What are your reasons for either one? Have you stopped to actually think about it or is it just gut reactions? (I'm often guilty of making gut decisions and not thinking it through. That's why I'm asking.) Have you written it down or talked it out with your husband or a close friend? If not, brainstorming your thoughts and feelings on the subject is where I would begin.
As I've said in other blog posts, I don't think fear is a good reason to make any decision. Whether it's your fear of what's in the schools or your fear of your own inadequacy, fear can be a useful tool to make you take an honest look at things, but you need to make decisions based on facts. For example, you're afraid that you wouldn't be able to teach him. Okay...why? Have you had difficulty teaching him things in the past? Have you struggled to convey to him exactly what it is that you want from him and how you want him to behave? If so, those are skills you need to work on whether you homeschool him or not. If you've taught him to make his bed, say his alphabet, pee in the potty, behave in public, identify colors, and to count to 10...guess what? You've taught preschool...successfully! Why should Kindergarten be any different?
Finding time for yourself, and time alone with his younger brother will not be the easiest thing...I'm not going to lie to you. But if he's at home with you now, it won't be any different than what you're already doing. You have two small boys at home (God bless you), finding time for the things you want to do is already a challenge. I can see why adding more things on top of that seems like adding madness to chaos, but it's not that much madness. Kindergarten should take approximately an hour a day (You're right, 8 hours a day is way too much for a 5 year old.) Can you do an hour's worth of work while the little brother naps? Can the little one color and do his own "school" next to the 5 years old? The work doesn't have to be done all at once, so can you find time for 5 or 6 things which take 10-15 minutes each? Taken in little bite-sized chunks, it's not that hard to work his schoolwork into the daily routine you've already established in your home. As for your exercise, keep doing what you're doing now if it's working for you.
Kindergarten is a great time to stick your toe in the water and try it out. In many states, kindergarten attendance isn't even compulsory, so your son won't be behind the state standards if you decide this just isn't for you. A word of warning though, there was a time when I thought I'd homeschool kindergarten because I couldn't bear to put my baby on the school bus, by the end of that year I'd fallen in love with teaching her and she was years ahead of her peers. We were stuck with it, and couldn't have been happier.
I hope that helps. I've tried to answer your questions as best I could. If I've missed something or you have more questions, please ask! (That goes for all of you!)
7 comments:
I agree with Rebecca. Eight hours a day, five days a week is too much for a child - any child! Junior high and high school students don't even spend that much time at school.
IF you truly cannot teach your child at home, please look for an alternative kindergarten for your child.
Love what you pointed out about fear and realizing you've already taught the child so much!
What happened to 1/2 day kindergarten? Remember when it was normal for children not to attend preschool?
I saw a program (maybe on 60 Minutes, not sure) that parents would wait a year to send their boys to kindergarten, so the child would be bigger and older and more advanced than his peers. They didn't want their kids to be picked on or be the "runt" of the class. I realize I introduced a tangent here. I think kindergarten would be fun to teach. These days I hear kindergarten children have HOMEWORK, which sounds dreadful to me.
Lena
I started homeschooling because I hated not having the option of 1/2 kindergarten for my daughter in public or private school. My oldest is very athletic and very social. I couldn't picture her sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day and not getting to speak to her neighbor for most of that time. I thought that was a recipe for failure for her.
I had no confidence in teaching--but kindergarten (despite my nerves) felt very "fail safe." I admit, I'm actually not a great elementary school teacher. Teaching early reading skills are not my forte.
Yet I've fallen in love with homeschooling. It gives my family a lot of freedom.
As a plus--I have to manage my "breaks" during the week. For me, I play the cello, blog, and pray every morning. I'm slowly building up a group of very close homeschooling friends that feels like the fun socialization of college.
I think not having my kids in school makes is easier to take "me" breaks during the day. My life is the same with my kids 365 days a year. I don't dread summer vacation like many of my friends. We have fun together, we do some school stuff--I get time to do my Mama stuff--that's our regular life. No worries about how to entertain the kids suddenly on winter break or snow days.
Abigail, I was surprised when my friends had days off from work and sent them their kids to daycare anyway! They didn't want their kids around. Don't they like their kids??
It sounds great to work out your own schedule according to everyone's needs. There's plenty of time later for them to march to some institution's or company's schedule.
Lena
The purpose of kindergarten used to be to teach kids the procedures of school (sitting at a desk, raising your hand, etc) with a little bit of academic content. A lot of schools have switched to full-day kindergarten in order to up the amount of academic content.
Plus schools tend to subscribe to an "earlier the better" philosophy that I think actually sets a lot of kids up for failure. (I'm personally a fan of Raymond Moore's philosophy of "better late than early"). At first I wasn't a fan of the idea of "red-shirting" (waiting an extra year to start a kid in kindergarten) because it seemed like a stunt to establish a kid in relation to his peers, but the fact is that many boys (and some girls) really need that extra year of mental and emotional development if they are going to succeed without being incorrectly labeled with a learning disorder.
I find that a lot of parents get really freaked out about kindergarten. They think that if they make the wrong educational decision starting with kindergarten then they're going to be setting their kid up for educational disaster for the rest of their life...like whatever decision they make today they have to stick with every year after. When the reality is that while a certain amount of consistency is good for kids (you don't want to flip them in and out of schools on a whim), most parents don't realize that what works for their kid and family one year might not work well the next.
And if it makes anyone feel better I only do about 15-30 minutes of formal work with a kindergartener. With my oldest I only did kindergarten 2-3 days each week. I also only do one subject each day for that time (math or phonics/reading).
Then we do about an hour of work starting in first grade. I find that they absorb a lot just by playing, watching television, conversation, and especially watching and listening to older siblings. The early years are perfect for a certain amount of unschooling because young children are so curious about the world; you just have to be willing to answer their questions as much as possible (thank the Lord for the internet).
Here's the non-parent commenting again (though i do have a bit of experience teaching young ones). Waiting until your child is ready for kindergarten due to social and emotional development is one thing, waiting until they are tall is another.
I'm far from my own childhood, and hate sitting still at a desk all day.
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