Alright Ladies,
I've had enough, and I'm willing to bet that you have too. I'm done with the self-doubt and the perfectionism. I'm through with the amazing women in my life taking the innocent word "should" and using it to make themselves feel inadequate. (I'm in favor of a bit of self-improvement, but y'all are taking this to a whole new place.)
My gorgeous neighbor with the most luscious red lips I've ever seen, talks about how she should be as thin as the size 0 mom who lives across the street.
So what if you're not rail thin? I once heard a man in
Mexico say "Bones are for the dogs. Meat is for the man." I'll tell
you what, a little meat is kinda sexy on a gal.
The friend, who baked the tastiest chocolate cake I've ever had (and I don't really like chocolate cake) for her son's birthday, looked on Pinterest and then began lamenting all of the things she should have done to make his party better.
Does it really matter if you never throw a "perfect" children's party? Will your children be ruined if you let 3 year
olds dance with balloons while the moms drink mimosas? That's more my speed
for a party game anyway.
The homeschooling mom with the crazy smart son doesn't take any pride in the insane achievements this kid has made in the last year, instead she laments all of the extra science experiments she should have done with him in her spare time. (I'm assuming that extra time is the pesky moments she wastes in breathing because she's insanely busy.)
There is no limit to what I could teach my children, which means that
eventually they're going to have to learn the rest of it themselves. I cover the
basics and a few fun things along the way, but letting go of doing it
all has given me peace. Wouldn't you like to get to a place in your life where you can have a bit of peace?
I just want to hug these women.... or shake them.... I'm not sure which, and beg "Please, please stop should-ing on yourself. Can't you see that all you're doing is making yourself feel like cr*p?"
We live in the post-Martha Stewart age of Pinterest perfectionism. It's a world where moms with good lighting and excellent editing tools spend weeks planning how to take that one perfect photograph that will make everyone else wish we were them. When are we going to realize that the perfect picture lady's life isn't always picture perfect? She owns a better camera and cool editing software. That's why it all looks so great.
Let's be honest about that girl, she probably has a stash of clutter hidden just out of view or a serious Hanson addiction she never got over. People who are crazy enough to spend weeks prepping for the one perfect pic are c.r.a.z.y, and do you really want to live with the dialogue and pressure inside her head?
There is no such thing as perfect, and thank goodness for it. This is your one and only chance at life. Why would you spend it bemoaning all the things you imagine you should be instead of loving the things you are? I'm tired of funny, sexy, smart, and amazing women abusing themselves for being the people God made them to be. They ought to tell that awful mean inner voice to pack that "should" up and get the
heck out!
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21 comments:
I love this piece! I'm calling your new charge "Dump the Frump INSIDE YOUR HEAD!" Here's to a healthier, happier 2013 baby!
Love this post.
You preach it sister!! Yes, yes, yes!
I heard Danielle Bean talk once and she said "Don't compare your interior to everyone else's exterior" which is exactly what we do. We compare our lousiest days to someone's picture perfect day. Love this post!
THANK YOU!
Didn't mean to shout. I love this post. :) There are quite a few people I'd like to have read this.
Dead on, as usual. Shared your nuggets of wisdom on FB :)
Thanks, Maurisa!
Well said, Rebecca. And I love the title. ;)
Take it from a man- we really don't want you to be perfect! One of the worst things about our culture is the way we indoctrinate girls from a relatively young age into the cult of ungodly self-image.
I read an article recently that compared social media to an old-fashioned parlor.
It is the nicest, cleanest room in the house for guests. Just like with social media where you see the fantastic vacations, perfect dinners and kids dressed in their Sunday best every day.
You don't see the wife's unhappiness at her husband's long hours, the baby's colic and the dinner nights with just take-out on the couch.
Social media is a alternative universe to people's reality and others need to remember that for their own sanity.
This was really good. Someone ought to hire you to give this type of talk at a women's conference or something.
LarryD - I'll be talking on the subject at the San Antonio Catholic Homeschool Conference in June. Put it on your calendar now!
I tried to be perfect once, and it didn't work out too well.
Lena - It wasn't much fun to even try, so I stopped.
This is great! Thank you!!
We should try to be as merciful with ourselves as God is
Mmmmmbop!
btw. Bones are for the dog, meat is for the man! I love it!
i admit to "should"ing myself to sleep some nights.
my "shoulds" come from too much attachment parenting books.
i always say "man, i should have spent more time with this or that kid today" "man i should have encouraged him to go ahead and do that" or "man i should have praised her when she did that."
i don't think it comes from a healthy place.
I am not sure how I missed this, but it's exactly what I needed tonight. I love it and I love you my wonderful friend!
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